Thoughts on a Bus Ride, 1976 edition

 I want to tell you a story – a story which, in some ways, hasn’t ended, but in one big way ended this evening.

I’m 57. Half a century ago, way back in 1976 the Rosens of Mt. Vernon traveled to Israel. My dad was radiologist in a hospital but also on faculty at a medical college so he earned a sabbatical year. He chose to take it in Jerusalem working at sha’arei Tzedek hospital. Ira and I, and baby Naomi lived on the 5^th floor of Kiriyat Wolfson (B) for 6 months. We went to school here and learned how Israeli kids live.

I’m sure I had taken the bus with others and I felt confident enough to go on my own on that day. If I recall the mundane details, there was something happening at school which changed dismissal time so I planned to go to a friend’s house because my parents weren’t home and we were going to have to return to school later for something anyway. But for some reason I called home from his house and found my parents WERE home so I decided to go back home and go to school from there. It was supposed to be a straight shot down the big street next to Kiryat Wolfson and it was. Except that the bus did not stop. I got that nervous stomach feeling and then that paranoid feeling. Everyone is not telling me something. I don’t recall exactly when in the 6 month period this was but I recall not feeling at ALL confident in my language skills. I stood sort of close to the front hoping to overhear some conversation which explained all this and unsure how to talk to an adult driving a bus without my having the general confidence or language skills to do so. Shy by nature and with a horrible fear of feeling foolish and a bouquet of other anxieties, lost on a bus, in a foreign country. Age 7. I recall very clearly as we drove through what I remember as near-desert (but that’s probably a bit melodramatic) a street sign with two arrows pointing in opposite directions: one reading “Jerusalem” with an arrow to the left, and the other reading “Tel Aviv” and the right pointing arrow. The bus turned right.

I figured out about 30 years ago that the reason the bus didn’t stop is that one has to pull the cord to tell the driver that there is a stop request. If no one pulls and no one is waiting at the stop, the driver just keeps going. Little immigrant boy hadn’t learned that. Subsequently, little immigrant boy has a horrible fear of public transportation (and going places, in general).

Fast forward to 50 years later and something profound dawns on me.

There are a lot of bad people and bad outcomes in this world and sadly, every day. I got lost on a bus and was found by a random woman who took me home, fed me and helped me contact my parents. There are many other different potential outcomes, some ending quite badly. The things that placed that woman on that bus on that day and at that time are part of the complex mechanism that my faith allows me to see as the subtle manipulations of my universe’s creator. Maybe my character needed an experience. Maybe I was a part in some larger backstory centered on the woman. Whatever it was, I was put through this in a way which avoided physical, and minimized emotional pain. These are the things I have to be aware of and be thankful for. I look at the difficult moments and realize two things – in each case there is someone there for me and in each case, I am put in a situation which I am strong enough to handle or there is someone else there to help when I’m not strong enough. I have stopped believing in coincidences long ago and I am trying to be strong enough to see Hashem’s hand in my life.

 

 

Why I don't Spelunk

 I finally caved in and started an Ulpan this morning.

First thoughts -- I'm in level B. Not quite a beginner but mostly I haven't a clue. Yes, I understand much of what people are talking about but that's because, generally, people aren't talking about anything important.

The class has 6 or so people online and about 10 in the classroom (the facility is a 35 second walk from my apartment). The mode is generally oral testing. The teacher (Aharon) goes from person to person and asks a question requiring a complete sentence that uses one of the words introduced that day and the proper grammar. So we covered the word "Shalit" (control) and the preposition which follows it (b-) and also the term shlita which is followed by "al". So the teacher might ask me "What do you control?" and I have to respond with "ani sholet bakita sheli" or what ever it is I control. I know -- I rarely control my class. These were practice sentences, not real-life reflections. We also learned about ibud (lost) and halach l'ibud, got lost.

Some is very basic and some is news to me so at least for now, this might be the right level. I have a lot to catch up on, though, just in terms of the vocabulary which they have already covered and the foundational grammar which they covered before this year. I don't like oral testing because it puts me on the spot in front of other people so I do see why a private class would be better. In this (4 hour) class, often the question is based on an answer someone else gave so you really have to be paying attention the entire time. It is quite draining. Also, some times, it is hard to understand what the nature of the question is. The instructor might just say a word and you have to know what he wants you to do with that. I have to get over my anxiety about being wrong so publicly and often. You'd think by now I'd be used to that...

The class is trying to cover grammar, vocab and expressions/phraseology all at the same time. I feel like, were I there from day 1 I would be much more solid but I'm stepping in almost 2 months late and I will only be in the class 2 out of the 3 sessions per week. I feel like I got a lot out of today's class and am excited to get more out of it but it is nerve wracking to be trying to answer questions and construct sentences in the face of so much unknown stuff.

I did learn more practical stuff today than I did in years of Yeshiva Hebrew education but there was still so much I didn't get. And they throw around grammatical terms (English and Hebrew) and everyone gets it. So on one hand, I'm happy to see a room of people who understand what the infinitive is in English, but when the teacher says "this word is in the pi'el" and they all know not just what that is, but what it indicates about various conjugations, I feel doubly lost. I learned a few words. It was a win. So now, 4 hours Tues and Wed (since I work during class time on Sundays) I will be trying to improve my Hebrew.

A time to write

Good morning, I say, knowing full well that where ever you are, it might not be morning, or good, and knowing that the same could be said about where ever I am. But I say it because, darn it, that's just how people should be. So you'd better find a way to have a good morning or I will have to track you down and give you something to have a good morning about.

I'm here at my job, reflecting on where I am 2 and a half months in to my new life. Time to stop and count the roses before they hatch because they can't stand the heat. Or something like that.

So, updates: my degrees were recognized so now I don't have to fear them as I walk down an unlit alley. I just got a piece of paper that says that my US teaching degree has been recognized. That and 8 NIS gets me on the bus. I have to submit it to someone, get it signed and uploaded to something. So there is still stuff to do in that regard. Plus I have to start taking a weekly class (mostly virtual but 3 in-person meetings) and I don't know what the class is about. That should be exciting. I also submitted some letters attesting to the fact that I have been in the classroom for a long time so even though I'm a n00b, I'm an experienced one.

I still have concerns about my utilities. Am I using a lot? A little? Everything leans on the budget and the budget leans on my keeping track of things and that's not my strength. My lift arrived and there seems to only be one serious issue -- my dining room table is broken. I have submitted photos and such to the moving company but have not heard back. I'm waiting on leaving an online review until I see how they deal with this. I have had to order a new table (not cheap...so much for my budget) and will have to find a way to move the broken table out to the curb while I negotiate the arrival of the replacement (cf shipping weirdness in an earlier post). My apartment is now overfull of stuff (and boxes which I have to get rid of). After living out of a suitcase for 2 months, I find that I need very little else so all the clothes that arrived aren't even needed. Pots and pans (which I haven't used yet) are not essential as I have set up a schedule of food that doesn't require much more than the bits and pieces I initially brought with me (or was given by Heidi).

Side note -- I tried oat milk with my cheap corn-esque flakes yesterday. I imagine rice milk is like skim milk, almond milk is like 1% and oat milk is heavy cream. Moving on.

As I am settling in to a routine, I'm also trying to adjust myself to the ebb and flow of the work week here. By the time I finish my 2 classes on Sunday (I work from 8:30 to noon) my week is halfway done. This week, my 9th grade isn't meeting on Thursday so my week is 2/3 over already and by 2 this afternoon, I will be done. Yes, I have other things to do (that weekly teaching class thing, lots of grading and setting up future classes, running mundane errands so I can make sure I have a steady supply of fake corn flakes and something to pour on them) but it is weird to just putter around my apartment trying to not spend money or go quietly insaner, thinking about Shabbat plans on a Monday.

Thing is, I wake up and take stock on and realize, I'm in Israel. I live here now. This isn't a vacation and even though I am working part-time, the students see me as their actual, real teacher so I had better take it serious-like so I don't look like I'm not fully invested, drifting in and out and not caring in between.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Tomorrow will be, also. Nothing changes and everything changes and the only thing that is consistent is that some things will change maybe. I'm sure there's more, but I got the important things in here and without too much whining.

Residual Spiritual

 People who have spent time around me recently know that I'm shifting into a more spiritual direction (or trying to). I am working at seeing the divine hand in my every day life. And I have. Often. Weird coincidences which end up being important or significant. Confluences of events, echoes unexpectedly appearing -- things that I am guilty of having ignored or chalked up to the goofiness that is reality. I now see them as intentional, as involvement of God, on the private level, in my life.

This has also impacted my prayer. I'm trying to be more "present" when I pray because if God is willing to show his hand, I should be willing to play open as well. This has actually helped me understand the purpose of some parts of prayer that I hadn't pieced together. And, sure, maybe I'm just seeing links where they don't exist, or even where scholars have noted them for generations. But, hey, now it is my turn to see them and it is a revelation for ME. You don't like it? Can't help you.

In the morning, one of the blessings we say praises God for being one who opens the eyes of the blind. I'm not officially blind, but that openness, that awareness of what is really going on around me is what I have to see. I need to acknowledge that this whole big machine of the universe is all humming along with God as the constant engineer. If I don't see it, I am as a blind man stumbling around, unable to fulfill other commandments because I can't see the God is behind it all. I also praise God for lifting up those who have fallen. Just because I didn't see yesterday, or I ignored what was in front of me does not mean that I'm lost. God gives us each day to start over. Every day is a new year's beginning and I am given the strength, awareness and understanding to get back up and try again. I want to be accounted as one of the holy ones who praise God and to do that, I have to see all that God does all around me.

In the central prayer of the Amida, I hope, fervently that I can be considered a holy one even though I need God's help to be brought back from the dead EVERYDAY. Not just physically, mind you, but religiously -- I have an opportunity to be a new-born child who starts with a clean slate and can do better than he did yesterday. I ask for the intelligence to recognize that without God, all sorts of other things just won't happen. By the end of the section of requests, I attest to God's presence in my life -- the miracles and wonders that are all around me and that, I hope, I can now see so that I can sing proper praises.

It isn't easy to live with eyes open all the time. You expect something, some sort of obviousness. But like understanding a prophecy, sometimes, it only works in hindsight. Last week, I was accosted by a man on the street who wanted me to buy him a meal. I was ok with that part but he wanted to take me on a train ride to where he sleeps. I refused and offered, again, to buy him some food. We walked into a small store and he first asked for a pack of cigarettes. To that, I said "no." I was willing to buy him food but not tobacco. We left on good terms but it was an awkward (borderline uncomfortable) experience. And then, right after, I happened to run into two former students. Had I not been taken the way this guy dragged me, had he not taken up a precise amount of time, I would not have run into these students. At the time, I couldn't see how the wheels were turning to make things work out. But right after, that slot machine paid off and I had a wonderful conversation with a couple of great guys. Would I have known had I missed them? No, but seeing that I ran into them was an incredible pleasure so I can look at the vagrant who tried to get me to buy him cancer and say gamzu l'tovah and when I pray, I can admit that this all was part of a bigger plan.

These "coincidences" are always happening and I thank God every day that I have the ability to see them for what they are.

First things, first

 I'm not a political person. I find politics and such to be a dirty and confusing business. Except when it comes to dirty politics. That isn't confusing at all. That's just double dirty. Math. Ta da!

But I do like discussing laws. Maybe it is my religious leaning, or my fascination with the precision of wording or maybe it is because I find comfort and predictability in a legal system because then I can be a rule follower and know what I'm following.

One law (and there are different types of laws including rules, actions in equity, precedents etc) or category of laws can be traced back to the bill of rights, the first of 10 amendments appended to the Constitution of the US before all those other johnny come lately amendments snuck in (like proposition 305). The relevant portion for today's rant is (and I'm ellipsisising the parts not relevant), "Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press"

In the U.S. people (I'm not using the word "citizen" intentionally) have the right to say things without the government's restraining them. This, of course, has exception. There are categories of speech that are subject to prior restrain -- laws can be made that stop the speech from coming in to the world. Hate speech is still protected, though. So are lies. If I choose to stand on the street and spout vicious lies and hateful comments, I cannot be stopped.

So one might think that, knowing this, Macklemore, Miss Rachel and so many others are within their rights to say what they feel. And you would be right, sort of.

Back in the day, I was an ardent civil libertarian. I believed that the truth would set us all free so if the IHR wanted to speak at a college, that would be fine but I would encourage the school and its students to provide the opportunity for pre-education and rebuttal. The open marketplace of ideas has to include all the ideas, right? The obligation of the majority is to protect the rights (including of speech) of the minority. Even unpopular statements can be expressed. This is freedom, right? Again, sort of.

Thing is, when people throw around the term "freedom of speech" and support it by invoking the 1st Amendment (henceforth to be abbreviated as "the 1st Amendment") they are usually in error. There is very little in what has been on the news which is subject to any laws. Removing someone from a job, a role or some other context is a consequence, not a legal estopping of any estatements. Is that unfair? maybe, but it is a consequence in the same marketplace of ideas. If you work for me and you say something hateful, I can fire you because your presence will affect my bottom line since people might buy my product or service from someone else if I am associated with hate. So I say "you are poison for my business. Go away" and I make sure the public knows that those views aren't mine. Buy my stuff, please.

So first point -- you don't have freedom from consequence, and if this isn't about laws being passed to gag you before you speak, this isn't about the 1st Amendment. This is about capitalism -- I want to make money by convincing you to spend it. If I am not a persuasive salesman because I am seen with haters and the marketplace isn't into hate and its standing-byproducts, then I lose money. I am allowed to choose my friends an spokespeople. That's my freedom.

Next, speech is not protected in all places or at all times. If you step into my house and say "I hate you and you are evil" I have the right to say "I hear that, now get out" and you get no yummy brownies that I just made. [full disclosure, I made them last night and then ate the whole pan so let's put this in the theoretical pile until I make more] I can protect my space and my reputation by telling you to leave. Let's take that a step further.  Certain kinds of speech are not appropriate for all ages. We have ratings which establish age cut offs. In that vein, I would suggest that going into a school and using certain language or discussing certain subjects in front of the class would be wrong. Do kindergartners need to be read to from Penthouse Letters? Personally, I don't think so. But hey, I never thought it would happen to me but...

And remember, lies are protected so when a news outlet says something it knows to be untrue (or hasn't done a good job of checking) it is within its rights. Damn the canons, full speed ahead. Do we champion that right to lie? 

Now, as to what constitutes the kind of speech that some want want to react to. The answer is "any." We put the power in the hands of the hearers, or more precisely, their ears. If I am offended by something you say, you can put your hands over your ears and refuse to listen, and then you can choose not to buy the product or service of people who espouse that position or affiliate with the person who champions it. So we have a "my house, my rules" and a "you can't do that on television" mixed in with "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." If you don't like that a comedian makes a joke about balloons because a balloon raped your cattle and stampeded your village, then you walk out and you call the owner of The Chuckle Patch (who by the way is playing with trademark infringement) and say "my friends and I won't be coming back because you put a guy on stage who triggered us." If the owner hears from one person, he might ignore it. If he hears from a thousand paying customers, he might listen and tell balloon-boy to take his jokes elsewhere. That's the free market at work. The comedian says what he wants and the market decides if his opinions should be rewarded. Or if a venue that hosts him is a place in which customers will laugh or not. I can always go the He Guffaws right down the street and drink my minimum there.

The owner can also walk over to the comedian and say "your material is great but the balloon thing isn't playing for my audience -- if you want to play again, remove the stuff that my audience hates." The comedian can change, walk away, or do what he wants and face consequences. This isn't a matter of law, but of the owner's control over his place of business. He can get on stage in a fake nose and side-locks until someone tells him not to. He can do his entire routine in blackface until someone tells him not to. He stand on stage and do nothing but read Tropic of Cancer until someone tells him not to. And if no one tells him not to, because the act is selling and receiving no negative backlash, then so be it.

People attend events for the event. I used to go to concerts and when I did, it was because I wanted to hear music. I don't care what my favorite band thinks about immigration, fracking or space based weapons. When a performer uses a bully pulpit to profess ideas I find abhorrent I am offended not by the ideas, but by the misuse of the spotlight. Honestly, why do I assume that the opinions of a Hollywood actor are any more valid or informed than those of more personally prepared or invested parties? I don't. I look at the ignorant and say "stay in your lane -- do what you did to become famous and don't mix in other stuff." The fact that Mel Gibson (maybe) is an antisemite doesn't interest me. Don't ask, don't tell. I still want to see him in movies. He's dreamy. But when he signs a letter with 300 of his friends accusing Jews of controlling the weather, I'll get irritated. The abuse of the microphone to mix messages into an intersectional symphony isn't why I paid too much for this ticket. A linguist's opinion on world events is as useful as my opinion on the great vowel shift, so I keep my mouth shut about it when people come to my house to discuss baked ziti. And, yes -- they do.

And we also have to consider how consistent we want to be in the application of the marketplace's strength. Are we offended when someone uses the middle of an Ibsen play to stop and lecture the audience about the perils of processed foods (unless it is Hedda Gabler*...interrupt that one as much as you want)? Do we want our money to go to someone whose cooking show is about the best preparation of fugu for the home cook, as explained by a twenty-year old who is blind? Is it a problem if the brass section of the Boston Philharmonic gets up on stage in the middle of some rondeau to wave a Confederate Flag and yell "the south shall rise again!"? Can Macklemore do his set in blackface? Can he shout "I just want you all to know that 9/11 never happened -- the twin towers never actually existed and all those people didn't die, they were all just crisis actors, paid by the Protestant mafia" and expect no response? What is offensive to whom and are we equally offended by all things? More importantly, do we protect anyone else's right to be offended even when we aren't?

If Miss Rachel chose to teach young children "The Dalai Lama is the devil incarnate" would we let our kids keep watching? And if we knew she posted this sentiment on social media would we still think her fit to teach our children ANYTHING? Again, this isn't about the freedom of speech, but about the freedom to respond to speech.

So the take aways? Invoking the 1st Amendment is generally inappropriate unless you are talking about particular laws in particular contexts. Freedom to speak your mind isn't guaranteed in places you or the government doesn't own, or at times when the audience is wrong. Expressing your opinion doesn't shield you from the consequences of expressing your opinion.

And if you find yourself offended that there are certain consequences when someone in the public sphere says something you agree with, imagine if that someone had said the opposite. Would you be equally as offended if a band at Burning Man held up a Russian flag and sang the Russian anthem as a Ukrainian flag and sang its anthem? [Do they have bands at Burning Man? I have no idea. If not, not. My B] What if someone used his position at the center of 50,000 adoring fans to say "All Hindus need to be removed" or "Left-handedness is sinister and left-handed people are baby killers!" Or if a black politician makes public statements wearing a dǒulì using pidgin, wearing Coolie Attire and sporting a clipped on queue.

If your outrage is selective then maybe you aren't all about freedom of speech.

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*I have never read Hedda Gabler but I had to choose an Ibsen and that was the third one I thought of.

Some summarizing

I'm sitting here at work, reflecting on the last month plus and I'm compelled to write things up. Not because I have much new to say, but because I'm compelled. It's like a compulsion so, there we go.

This morning I had my first experience in planned laziness. I think that that is an important part of anyone's day -- the choice to be lazy, and I made the choice. So let's start with a quick anecdote, an ode, you might say, to my laziness. You also might not say that, but if you are not saying it because you are lazy then aren't you actually saying it?

I needed to return to the Maccabi central building to drop off some papers at the lab, and while there, I figured I would pop into the dental office. I chipped a tooth yesterday (blast you, delicious pretzels!) and I have been trying to figure out if I have dental coverage. I tried making an appointment using the various web based services but my limited skills seemed to point to the repeated response of "you can't do that." I didn't know if that meant that I didn't have dental coverage or I was just doing something wrong. Even odds on those options. I tried calling various numbers but got no information or live person. I did some digging and it seems that my medical plan is supposed to include some measure of dental so this means I was doing something wrong. Not shocked.

So while I was in the building, I decided to walk in and ask. The building is a quick walk of about 15 minutes from my building. Straight and a couple of quick turns. Very convenient. BNut I also learned that once you pay for a ride on certain public transport, you can have free transfers for a particular time span. My last step for this morning was going to be to get to work and that would require a bus trip so I worked backwards and figured that I could use the light rail to and from the medical building and then walk over to the bus, all for a single fee (8 NIS). So why should I walk extra and sweat like a monkey (h/t Ben Stiller) if I didn't have to. Planned laziness. It worked! So kudos to the free transfers. While I rode, I thought about some summing up that I could do. These are highlights of what I have learned thus far about the culture and people of Israel. I have no doubt that I will keep learning new stuff, but this is what I have right now.

First, the national religion is 2FA.

The practice of that religion requires one live and breath the holy binity of SMS and Whatsapp. And much like some religions, you might end up chatting with an AI that isn't really there and doesn't make any sense.

Take a number -- the country runs like a deli or a take-out counter. You show up someplace, odds are you will have to take a number just to speak with the secretary. I still haven't figured out some of the subtleties here (like in my bank).

You get a natinal ID number which I considered like a SSN except you throw yours around here with alarming frequency. It's safe because of the almighty 2FA I guess.

Next, people are very comfortable with each other. The "one big family" sense is true as long as you remember that in most families, there is as much arguing as anything else and sometimes, people forget your birthday or wear your sweater without asking. Underneath it all, they put up with you because they have to, but don't expect them to be polite. I get phone calls from numbers I don't recognize (I mean, I understand individual numbers but the combinations are unfamiliar) and when I pick up, whoever is on the other end starts by addressing me by my name (more later) and jumping right into whatever has to be said. No "Is Mr. Rosen there?" or Even "Hi, I'm calling from ______ and trying to reach _____." Just zero to conversation in no seconds flat. I'm trying to catch up before I even get started.

People assume competence or familiarity. This makes sense. If you call someone who shares your understanding of cultural norms, then all is well. But if you call me, I'm going to be so lost that I won't be able to tell Snarth from Woots.

This familiarity bleeds into text messages. Let's forget about the language barrier. I'm just talking the assumption that a text makes sense. This comes up most often in terms of deliveries. I get text messages telling me that my delivery is on its way. What delivery? I didn't order anything that I was expecting. But the third party deliverer doesn't know either -- it just says "give us more information about your address and be ready for a delivery." No "what" or "from whom" or even "approximately when." Just be ready and when the delivery guy calls you, be there.

You know all those jokes about civil servants and places like the DMV? Well, imagine an entire country that runs like that. So much stuff runs through governmental-type offices so the people who work there have that same laid back attitude until they don't. The brusqueness is real but it is supposed to be bilateral. Those of us who are nicer by nature don't get ahead in life. If you call, you will speak to a series of phone trees (similar to the US) but if you "press 3 for English" you might not get someone who speaks English. And if you ask for a call back in English, you might not get a call back, let alone one in English, or one during the same week. Or one that is familiar with why you called or is able to help you. So, yeah. And email? Send in English and it might get answered (by a non-English speaker sometimes) or maybe not. What they don't have in efficiency, they make up for in inefficiency.

As for the language, there is so much technical vocabulary that we take for granted. Learning how to ask where the bathroom is won't ensure that you can understand the recommendation to restart your router, or answer whether you have ever taken a prescription medicine for your liver, or set up your various pension options. You just get dropped in. I'm sure it is the same for non-English speakers in the U.S. but I'm just becoming sensitive to that now because I am the HFL learner and most people aren't trained HFL teachers.

The real heroes are the bus drivers. They take large buses onto 2 way streets that were built for donkeys. One-way donkeys. I'm surprised car makers haven't found ways to move side mirrors IN TO the car and I'm even more surprised that there aren't more accidents. The roads are winding, narrow and confusing, much like the ovens, the cans of shaving cream and the A4 paper. I have driven here and I don't look forward to doing it again. I'm working on getting a license just so that I have an extra form of ID. And all the cool kids are doing it, so...

People really do care. Under the gruff exterior, people really do want to help -- you just have to preface every conversation with "I'm a new immigrant and I'm lost." They can then feel sorry for you, talk about you in Hebrew with their friends, and give you advice in halting English. It is probably wrong, but they're trying.

No matter who tells you a process, there are steps missing. I found out that to use my dental coverage, I had to open a file; my lack of an open file explains why I couldn't make an appointment but the nice Russian lady who spoke a little English took the time to open a file for me and help me get an appointment for Monday morning. I'm hoping that my chipped tooth doesn't further crack until then, but I didn't feel like it was an emergency (for which I could have gotten a sooner evening appointment). The point is, no one mentioned having to do this (or if someone did, it was amidst the flurry of "first things" that were dumped on me on day 1 and in Hebrew). I work in steps so giving me all the parts in one big blob up front doesn't help.

Honestly, I don't know the cause and effect which might explain thigs. Are the drivers crazy because the roads are or are the roads seem crazy because the drivers are out of their minds? Does familiarity breed contempt, or is there contempt in the water already?

There is more to learn, and more to write, but that's enough for this morning. At some point I have to get to the library, find out why my updated citizenship card hasn't arrived, and find an activity to help my 8th graders learn about the value of studying a word's etymology.

Even here, Mondays are horrible

 I'm still on the "get your degrees approved" merry-go-round. I have noticed a few things. First, people assume way too much about my ability. They forget that every step requires my translating a substantial amount of stuff and possibly getting it wrong. This isn't something that an Ulpan would solve. The Ulpan doesn't review the legal language or government terms. You just have to know them and I don't.

Idea for a service -- absorption valet. Each person who signs up is assigned a single point person who shepherds the newbie through the process and all of its 2000 parts. That person is a proper Israeli who will make the calls, argue the arguments, follow the ups and be a point person who can see the big picture and is aware of each step and how it gets done. Some can be specialists who can negotiate one aspect (not one department, but all departments and steps required for an entire goal) and some might be wild cards who can step up for isolated issues. Hello, I'd like to hire an Israeli extrovert who will pave the way for me please. They can get the equivalent of tour-guide licenses so that when they call up, they can identify themselves as official representatives. I'll take one for banking, one for utilities, one for ID and Passport and one for professional. Charge me what you want but I'm not paying until all the chiriks or dotted and the ayins are crossed.

I was emailing a person asking for guidance in one area and she said she would pass along my info to someone else. The other person called (without identifying herself or from where she was calling) and asked how she could help me. That's a nice offer, but if I don't know who you are, I can't tell you how to help. It was also clear that she had not read the emails that led to her being included. Had she, she would have been able to address my need, not ask me to start from scratch. She proceeded to tell me that I had to do a completely different task first. I tried explain that I have been working on it, but have been getting no where so that's why I emailed in the first place. She recommended I go to the office which I have visited twice, or call the help line because surely they can figure it out. Surely. I admire her certainty. I mentioned that I already worked with someone on a help line who said it wasn't working and recommended I email...

I went through the process, taking screenshots of each step and explaining the difficulty I was having. I showed the limitations of their system. I explained what was not responding or not allowing me to move forward. Nothing. Then I said "I'll call the help line tomorrow." Instant response -- "I'm sure they can help you." She feels off the hook, like she has moved me forward in some way. Nope.

In the midst of all this, I got a text telling me to expect a package which arrived 4 hours ago. You see, 4 hours ago, I went to take a walk. I got 5 minutes from my place and my phone rang. I said "hello" and a guy addressed me by name. No idea. He eventually explained that he was delivering a package and I had to be there to get it. He said he would wait the 5 minutes but that's it. I checked my texts and found one that reported that the item had been delivered, but nothing telling me to be ready for a delivery. So the warning came 4 hours after delivery.

And did I mention that I got my PIN from American express but their website had the wrong phone number for me listed? Weird thing is, they said they were sending an SMS to that number, but I received it at my number. I would suggest that that reflects a serious database problem.

Anyway, the woman on the phone told me I also had to start a different process (one which no one has heretofore mentioned) and I ran into (you guessed it) a difficulty with that one. So I pfumferred my way through and I probably broke their system. They deserve it. It is annoying having people insist "it is easy" when clearly, they haven't tried it. Remember, the most important skill is empathy, recognizing that what is easy for one person may not be so for another but the answer isn't simply to say "it's easy."

I refuse to believe that I am the first person to go through this process. It is amazing that the various branches operate in a vacuum and seem to be confused about their own processes but experts about who should be in charge of everyone else's. Yes, I am frustrated. And people wonder why I am reluctant to ask questions. It is because I get no useful answers but the person whom I ask is convinced that he or she has solved everything so when I press, that person gets testy with me.

As we all know, this is only one small dimension of the many directions in which I am currently lost. Yes, I complain a lot. But that's just so that you don't have to.

You're welcome.