First things, first

 I'm not a political person. I find politics and such to be a dirty and confusing business. Except when it comes to dirty politics. That isn't confusing at all. That's just double dirty. Math. Ta da!

But I do like discussing laws. Maybe it is my religious leaning, or my fascination with the precision of wording or maybe it is because I find comfort and predictability in a legal system because then I can be a rule follower and know what I'm following.

One law (and there are different types of laws including rules, actions in equity, precedents etc) or category of laws can be traced back to the bill of rights, the first of 10 amendments appended to the Constitution of the US before all those other johnny come lately amendments snuck in (like proposition 305). The relevant portion for today's rant is (and I'm ellipsisising the parts not relevant), "Congress shall make no law...abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press"

In the U.S. people (I'm not using the word "citizen" intentionally) have the right to say things without the government's restraining them. This, of course, has exception. There are categories of speech that are subject to prior restrain -- laws can be made that stop the speech from coming in to the world. Hate speech is still protected, though. So are lies. If I choose to stand on the street and spout vicious lies and hateful comments, I cannot be stopped.

So one might think that, knowing this, Macklemore, Miss Rachel and so many others are within their rights to say what they feel. And you would be right, sort of.

Back in the day, I was an ardent civil libertarian. I believed that the truth would set us all free so if the IHR wanted to speak at a college, that would be fine but I would encourage the school and its students to provide the opportunity for pre-education and rebuttal. The open marketplace of ideas has to include all the ideas, right? The obligation of the majority is to protect the rights (including of speech) of the minority. Even unpopular statements can be expressed. This is freedom, right? Again, sort of.

Thing is, when people throw around the term "freedom of speech" and support it by invoking the 1st Amendment (henceforth to be abbreviated as "the 1st Amendment") they are usually in error. There is very little in what has been on the news which is subject to any laws. Removing someone from a job, a role or some other context is a consequence, not a legal estopping of any estatements. Is that unfair? maybe, but it is a consequence in the same marketplace of ideas. If you work for me and you say something hateful, I can fire you because your presence will affect my bottom line since people might buy my product or service from someone else if I am associated with hate. So I say "you are poison for my business. Go away" and I make sure the public knows that those views aren't mine. Buy my stuff, please.

So first point -- you don't have freedom from consequence, and if this isn't about laws being passed to gag you before you speak, this isn't about the 1st Amendment. This is about capitalism -- I want to make money by convincing you to spend it. If I am not a persuasive salesman because I am seen with haters and the marketplace isn't into hate and its standing-byproducts, then I lose money. I am allowed to choose my friends an spokespeople. That's my freedom.

Next, speech is not protected in all places or at all times. If you step into my house and say "I hate you and you are evil" I have the right to say "I hear that, now get out" and you get no yummy brownies that I just made. [full disclosure, I made them last night and then ate the whole pan so let's put this in the theoretical pile until I make more] I can protect my space and my reputation by telling you to leave. Let's take that a step further.  Certain kinds of speech are not appropriate for all ages. We have ratings which establish age cut offs. In that vein, I would suggest that going into a school and using certain language or discussing certain subjects in front of the class would be wrong. Do kindergartners need to be read to from Penthouse Letters? Personally, I don't think so. But hey, I never thought it would happen to me but...

And remember, lies are protected so when a news outlet says something it knows to be untrue (or hasn't done a good job of checking) it is within its rights. Damn the canons, full speed ahead. Do we champion that right to lie? 

Now, as to what constitutes the kind of speech that some want want to react to. The answer is "any." We put the power in the hands of the hearers, or more precisely, their ears. If I am offended by something you say, you can put your hands over your ears and refuse to listen, and then you can choose not to buy the product or service of people who espouse that position or affiliate with the person who champions it. So we have a "my house, my rules" and a "you can't do that on television" mixed in with "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." If you don't like that a comedian makes a joke about balloons because a balloon raped your cattle and stampeded your village, then you walk out and you call the owner of The Chuckle Patch (who by the way is playing with trademark infringement) and say "my friends and I won't be coming back because you put a guy on stage who triggered us." If the owner hears from one person, he might ignore it. If he hears from a thousand paying customers, he might listen and tell balloon-boy to take his jokes elsewhere. That's the free market at work. The comedian says what he wants and the market decides if his opinions should be rewarded. Or if a venue that hosts him is a place in which customers will laugh or not. I can always go the He Guffaws right down the street and drink my minimum there.

The owner can also walk over to the comedian and say "your material is great but the balloon thing isn't playing for my audience -- if you want to play again, remove the stuff that my audience hates." The comedian can change, walk away, or do what he wants and face consequences. This isn't a matter of law, but of the owner's control over his place of business. He can get on stage in a fake nose and side-locks until someone tells him not to. He can do his entire routine in blackface until someone tells him not to. He stand on stage and do nothing but read Tropic of Cancer until someone tells him not to. And if no one tells him not to, because the act is selling and receiving no negative backlash, then so be it.

People attend events for the event. I used to go to concerts and when I did, it was because I wanted to hear music. I don't care what my favorite band thinks about immigration, fracking or space based weapons. When a performer uses a bully pulpit to profess ideas I find abhorrent I am offended not by the ideas, but by the misuse of the spotlight. Honestly, why do I assume that the opinions of a Hollywood actor are any more valid or informed than those of more personally prepared or invested parties? I don't. I look at the ignorant and say "stay in your lane -- do what you did to become famous and don't mix in other stuff." The fact that Mel Gibson (maybe) is an antisemite doesn't interest me. Don't ask, don't tell. I still want to see him in movies. He's dreamy. But when he signs a letter with 300 of his friends accusing Jews of controlling the weather, I'll get irritated. The abuse of the microphone to mix messages into an intersectional symphony isn't why I paid too much for this ticket. A linguist's opinion on world events is as useful as my opinion on the great vowel shift, so I keep my mouth shut about it when people come to my house to discuss baked ziti. And, yes -- they do.

And we also have to consider how consistent we want to be in the application of the marketplace's strength. Are we offended when someone uses the middle of an Ibsen play to stop and lecture the audience about the perils of processed foods (unless it is Hedda Gabler*...interrupt that one as much as you want)? Do we want our money to go to someone whose cooking show is about the best preparation of fugu for the home cook, as explained by a twenty-year old who is blind? Is it a problem if the brass section of the Boston Philharmonic gets up on stage in the middle of some rondeau to wave a Confederate Flag and yell "the south shall rise again!"? Can Macklemore do his set in blackface? Can he shout "I just want you all to know that 9/11 never happened -- the twin towers never actually existed and all those people didn't die, they were all just crisis actors, paid by the Protestant mafia" and expect no response? What is offensive to whom and are we equally offended by all things? More importantly, do we protect anyone else's right to be offended even when we aren't?

If Miss Rachel chose to teach young children "The Dalai Lama is the devil incarnate" would we let our kids keep watching? And if we knew she posted this sentiment on social media would we still think her fit to teach our children ANYTHING? Again, this isn't about the freedom of speech, but about the freedom to respond to speech.

So the take aways? Invoking the 1st Amendment is generally inappropriate unless you are talking about particular laws in particular contexts. Freedom to speak your mind isn't guaranteed in places you or the government doesn't own, or at times when the audience is wrong. Expressing your opinion doesn't shield you from the consequences of expressing your opinion.

And if you find yourself offended that there are certain consequences when someone in the public sphere says something you agree with, imagine if that someone had said the opposite. Would you be equally as offended if a band at Burning Man held up a Russian flag and sang the Russian anthem as a Ukrainian flag and sang its anthem? [Do they have bands at Burning Man? I have no idea. If not, not. My B] What if someone used his position at the center of 50,000 adoring fans to say "All Hindus need to be removed" or "Left-handedness is sinister and left-handed people are baby killers!" Or if a black politician makes public statements wearing a dǒulì using pidgin, wearing Coolie Attire and sporting a clipped on queue.

If your outrage is selective then maybe you aren't all about freedom of speech.

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*I have never read Hedda Gabler but I had to choose an Ibsen and that was the third one I thought of.

Some sumamrizing

I'm sitting here at work, reflecting on the last month plus and I'm compelled to write things up. Not because I have much new to say, but because I'm compelled. It's like a compulsion so, there we go.

This morning I had my first experience in planned laziness. I think that that is an important part of anyone's day -- the choice to be lazy, and I made the choice. So let's start with a quick anecdote, an ode, you might say, to my laziness. You also might not say that, but if you are not saying it because you are lazy then aren't you actually saying it?

I needed to return to the Maccabi central building to drop off some papers at the lab, and while there, I figured I would pop into the dental office. I chipped a tooth yesterday (blast you, delicious pretzels!) and I have been trying to figure out if I have dental coverage. I tried making an appointment using the various web based services but my limited skills seemed to point to the repeated response of "you can't do that." I didn't know if that meant that I didn't have dental coverage or I was just doing something wrong. Even odds on those options. I tried calling various numbers but got no information or live person. I did some digging and it seems that my medical plan is supposed to include some measure of dental so this means I was doing something wrong. Not shocked.

So while I was in the building, I decided to walk in and ask. The building is a quick walk of about 15 minutes from my building. Straight and a couple of quick turns. Very convenient. BNut I also learned that once you pay for a ride on certain public transport, you can have free transfers for a particular time span. My last step for this morning was going to be to get to work and that would require a bus trip so I worked backwards and figured that I could use the light rail to and from the medical building and then walk over to the bus, all for a single fee (8 NIS). So why should I walk extra and sweat like a monkey (h/t Ben Stiller) if I didn't have to. Planned laziness. It worked! So kudos to the free transfers. While I rode, I thought about some summing up that I could do. These are highlights of what I have learned thus far about the culture and people of Israel. I have no doubt that I will keep learning new stuff, but this is what I have right now.

First, the national religion is 2FA.

The practice of that religion requires one live and breath the holy binity of SMS and Whatsapp. And much like some religions, you might end up chatting with an AI that isn't really there and doesn't make any sense.

Take a number -- the country runs like a deli or a take-out counter. You show up someplace, odds are you will have to take a number just to speak with the secretary. I still haven't figured out some of the subtleties here (like in my bank).

You get a natinal ID number which I considered like a SSN except you throw yours around here with alarming frequency. It's safe because of the almighty 2FA I guess.

Next, people are very comfortable with each other. The "one big family" sense is true as long as you remember that in most families, there is as much arguing as anything else and sometimes, people forget your birthday or wear your sweater without asking. Underneath it all, they put up with you because they have to, but don't expect them to be polite. I get phone calls from numbers I don't recognize (I mean, I understand individual numbers but the combinations are unfamiliar) and when I pick up, whoever is on the other end starts by addressing me by my name (more later) and jumping right into whatever has to be said. No "Is Mr. Rosen there?" or Even "Hi, I'm calling from ______ and trying to reach _____." Just zero to conversation in no seconds flat. I'm trying to catch up before I even get started.

People assume competence or familiarity. This makes sense. If you call someone who shares your understanding of cultural norms, then all is well. But if you call me, I'm going to be so lost that I won't be able to tell Snarth from Woots.

This familiarity bleeds into text messages. Let's forget about the language barrier. I'm just talking the assumption that a text makes sense. This comes up most often in terms of deliveries. I get text messages telling me that my delivery is on its way. What delivery? I didn't order anything that I was expecting. But the third party deliverer doesn't know either -- it just says "give us more information about your address and be ready for a delivery." No "what" or "from whom" or even "approximately when." Just be ready and when the delivery guy calls you, be there.

You know all those jokes about civil servants and places like the DMV? Well, imagine an entire country that runs like that. So much stuff runs through governmental-type offices so the people who work there have that same laid back attitude until they don't. The brusqueness is real but it is supposed to be bilateral. Those of us who are nicer by nature don't get ahead in life. If you call, you will speak to a series of phone trees (similar to the US) but if you "press 3 for English" you might not get someone who speaks English. And if you ask for a call back in English, you might not get a call back, let alone one in English, or one during the same week. Or one that is familiar with why you called or is able to help you. So, yeah. And email? Send in English and it might get answered (by a non-English speaker sometimes) or maybe not. What they don't have in efficiency, they make up for in inefficiency.

As for the language, there is so much technical vocabulary that we take for granted. Learning how to ask where the bathroom is won't ensure that you can understand the recommendation to restart your router, or answer whether you have ever taken a prescription medicine for your liver, or set up your various pension options. You just get dropped in. I'm sure it is the same for non-English speakers in the U.S. but I'm just becoming sensitive to that now because I am the HFL learner and most people aren't trained HFL teachers.

The real heroes are the bus drivers. They take large buses onto 2 way streets that were built for donkeys. One-way donkeys. I'm surprised car makers haven't found ways to move side mirrors IN TO the car and I'm even more surprised that there aren't more accidents. The roads are winding, narrow and confusing, much like the ovens, the cans of shaving cream and the A4 paper. I have driven here and I don't look forward to doing it again. I'm working on getting a license just so that I have an extra form of ID. And all the cool kids are doing it, so...

People really do care. Under the gruff exterior, people really do want to help -- you just have to preface every conversation with "I'm a new immigrant and I'm lost." They can then feel sorry for you, talk about you in Hebrew with their friends, and give you advice in halting English. It is probably wrong, but they're trying.

No matter who tells you a process, there are steps missing. I found out that to use my dental coverage, I had to open a file; my lack of an open file explains why I couldn't make an appointment but the nice Russian lady who spoke a little English took the time to open a file for me and help me get an appointment for Monday morning. I'm hoping that my chipped tooth doesn't further crack until then, but I didn't feel like it was an emergency (for which I could have gotten a sooner evening appointment). The point is, no one mentioned having to do this (or if someone did, it was amidst the flurry of "first things" that were dumped on me on day 1 and in Hebrew). I work in steps so giving me all the parts in one big blob up front doesn't help.

Honestly, I don't know the cause and effect which might explain thigs. Are the drivers crazy because the roads are or are the roads seem crazy because the drivers are out of their minds? Does familiarity breed contempt, or is there contempt in the water already?

There is more to learn, and more to write, but that's enough for this morning. At some point I have to get to the library, find out why my updated citizenship card hasn't arrived, and find an activity to help my 8th graders learn about the value of studying a word's etymology.

Even here, Mondays are horrible

 I'm still on the "get your degrees approved" merry-go-round. I have noticed a few things. First, people assume way too much about my ability. They forget that every step requires my translating a substantial amount of stuff and possibly getting it wrong. This isn't something that an Ulpan would solve. The Ulpan doesn't review the legal language or government terms. You just have to know them and I don't.

Idea for a service -- absorption valet. Each person who signs up is assigned a single point person who shepherds the newbie through the process and all of its 2000 parts. That person is a proper Israeli who will make the calls, argue the arguments, follow the ups and be a point person who can see the big picture and is aware of each step and how it gets done. Some can be specialists who can negotiate one aspect (not one department, but all departments and steps required for an entire goal) and some might be wild cards who can step up for isolated issues. Hello, I'd like to hire an Israeli extrovert who will pave the way for me please. They can get the equivalent of tour-guide licenses so that when they call up, they can identify themselves as official representatives. I'll take one for banking, one for utilities, one for ID and Passport and one for professional. Charge me what you want but I'm not paying until all the chiriks or dotted and the ayins are crossed.

I was emailing a person asking for guidance in one area and she said she would pass along my info to someone else. The other person called (without identifying herself or from where she was calling) and asked how she could help me. That's a nice offer, but if I don't know who you are, I can't tell you how to help. It was also clear that she had not read the emails that led to her being included. Had she, she would have been able to address my need, not ask me to start from scratch. She proceeded to tell me that I had to do a completely different task first. I tried explain that I have been working on it, but have been getting no where so that's why I emailed in the first place. She recommended I go to the office which I have visited twice, or call the help line because surely they can figure it out. Surely. I admire her certainty. I mentioned that I already worked with someone on a help line who said it wasn't working and recommended I email...

I went through the process, taking screenshots of each step and explaining the difficulty I was having. I showed the limitations of their system. I explained what was not responding or not allowing me to move forward. Nothing. Then I said "I'll call the help line tomorrow." Instant response -- "I'm sure they can help you." She feels off the hook, like she has moved me forward in some way. Nope.

In the midst of all this, I got a text telling me to expect a package which arrived 4 hours ago. You see, 4 hours ago, I went to take a walk. I got 5 minutes from my place and my phone rang. I said "hello" and a guy addressed me by name. No idea. He eventually explained that he was delivering a package and I had to be there to get it. He said he would wait the 5 minutes but that's it. I checked my texts and found one that reported that the item had been delivered, but nothing telling me to be ready for a delivery. So the warning came 4 hours after delivery.

And did I mention that I got my PIN from American express but their website had the wrong phone number for me listed? Weird thing is, they said they were sending an SMS to that number, but I received it at my number. I would suggest that that reflects a serious database problem.

Anyway, the woman on the phone told me I also had to start a different process (one which no one has heretofore mentioned) and I ran into (you guessed it) a difficulty with that one. So I pfumferred my way through and I probably broke their system. They deserve it. It is annoying having people insist "it is easy" when clearly, they haven't tried it. Remember, the most important skill is empathy, recognizing that what is easy for one person may not be so for another but the answer isn't simply to say "it's easy."

I refuse to believe that I am the first person to go through this process. It is amazing that the various branches operate in a vacuum and seem to be confused about their own processes but experts about who should be in charge of everyone else's. Yes, I am frustrated. And people wonder why I am reluctant to ask questions. It is because I get no useful answers but the person whom I ask is convinced that he or she has solved everything so when I press, that person gets testy with me.

As we all know, this is only one small dimension of the many directions in which I am currently lost. Yes, I complain a lot. But that's just so that you don't have to.

You're welcome.

A Month in

 There have been good days and bad, and they are often the same day.

But one month in to my aliyah journey, I can confidently say, "what the hell?"

Last week, a family knocked on my door because they thought my apartment still housed their dentist. It doesn't. My knowledge of teeth is limited to my own, and even those are mostly strangers to me. But the people seemed nice I guess. I wish I had lollipops to give them.

Yesterday, a guy knocked on my door to tell me that my AC is dripping so he wanted to add some tubing to channel the water away from wherever it was dripping. I don't know who he is so I invited him into my home. Would a psycho murderer be carrying plastic tubing? I think not. He wanted to work on the one AC which I have used least, so I don't know that it was the offending drip-source but whatever. It is nice to have guests.

While I negotiate the issues with my US credit report, I am still trying to figure out who is supposed to be reviewing all sorts of my documents (that are not uploaded because the various websites don't let me upload them). I have found that my phone is not sending emails that I thought I sent. I don't know whose fault that is, but then my printer refused to print also and the website for the Ministry of Absorption and Squeegees froze up every time I tried to update my personal information. Maybe it is just a me problem. That possibility does wonders for my self confidence.

People encourage me to get out more and interact. Why would I want to do that? I get enough frustration without having to put on shoes. I should also walk to my bank and be ignored or misunderstood in person? I already have that!

So the short list of the moment:

Israel --

has the water company fully resolved all the billing issues? No.

has the ministry of absorption responded to my sending in my documents? No.

has the ministry website acknowledge my repeated attempts to update banking details? No.

has the ministry of education acknowledged my submitted licenses? No.

Is my credit card working properly yet? No.

Do I have the PIN for my card so I can use it at an ATM? No.

US --

has Experian resolved all the problems with my credit report? Dunno (nor can I as the responses can't be accessed from outside the US)

has my bank fixed details it got from Experian that were wrong? No

Have all my bank accounts been transferred properly? No.

Has Verizon contacted me to discuss why their system isn't working properly? No.

Free floating (Israel):

Do I know when I'm getting my stuff, and how much extra it will cost me? No.

Do I have a clue about what I'm teaching, how or where? No.

Am I getting paid at all? No idea.

Is my AC still spitting out black stuff? Yes.

What scares me is that these are just the things I can recall off the top of my head.

Amiss is as good as a quote

One of the things I do in my spare time is write. In fact, right now, I am writing. Well, by "right now" I mean "when I'm writing" but not necessarily the "right now" when you are reading. That's a different "right now" which I like to call "then."

My writing is often presented online, or at least saved in clouds and takes a few different forms: these free-wheeling streams of semi-consciousness; poetry; mad random statements, jokes, and musings; notes I leave for myself to remind me to do stuff or remember stuff; and shopping lists. Especially shopping lists. Oxford semi-colon ftw.

My writing is generally rife with what people think of as "errors." Often, yes, typos creep in on little cat feet. I don't often copyread or proofedit what spills out of my brain. But sometimes, those "errors" are just me being my voice (and voice versa).

I was scrolling through The Facebook recently and saw my feed littered with ads encouraging me to sue someone if my content has been scraped and used for training AI. For a split moment, I considered taking the click-rage-greed-bait and seeing if I could get something for the nothings I post in various places. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't want to cash in on something which took little effort and has little inherent value to anyone? Sign me up and give me my money, right?

No. Wrong. That's dumb and I'll tell you why (and AI can misquote me on this). We set words free into the universe all the time and we hope (and pray for those theists out there) that they have an effect on others that smacks of training. I speak to people using proper grammar because the more people hear things said properly, the more chance there is that they will start using proper structure in their own speech (a guy can dream, can't he? Did I mention "dream"? No? OK, hope, pray, dream. Now make me a shirt and send me money).

Surely, I pity the AI that tries to learn a durn thing about English by reading my poetry. But what about one that uses these blog posts to hone its mastery of English and human-speak? Still a fairly bad idea. Sort of.

If my friendly neighborhood LLM is looking at combinations of words, then, sure, use my combinations to muck up your algorithm. I'm fine with that. Do you really want an LLM to use the phrase "you can misquote me on that"? Cuz that's what I wrote. And if the AI sees it enough, its token value will increase making it more likely (even if still unlikely) that it will appear in an AI written piece and an actual human will say "um...dude, that's not how that works." And you can misquote me on that.

Just for the record, my English skills are not bad. When I want to, I can speak and write coherently and properly. It isn't nearly as much fun, but I can put on my brave teacher face and check my work and come out with a cogent and well-phrased argument. Boring but true.

So if the AI is being trained on the basics of sentence structure, then, hey, go right ahead and scrape away. I WANT you to scrape me (baby). Bend me, scrape me any way you want me (h/t The American Breed). That's how people learn when you speak to them in person. They scrape what you say and use it to train themselves in how people speak. The descriptive sense is very important. So why would I mind? If I don't mind when people listen to me speak and improve their speaking or writing (and, dare I say, critical thinking) because of what I said, why should I care that the learner is not human? I tried to train my cat and she was not even totally human either.

What I have written does have a form of implicit copyright, but the words don't. The particular order of them does but most of the combinations of phrases are common. And the uncommon ones won't be of use to anyone else. Also, please remember that many people out there don't have the command of English that I have, so anything scraping their writing is drinking poisoned water (I was going to write "poissoned water" but my reference to statistics would be fishy). Learning from everyone will lead to learning wrong things as well as right. Not the best choice IMHO.

So attention all AI types. Come on, use me more, I like it (h/t Silverchair and a heckuva song btw). Real humans can incorporate voice and also judge, based on the vagaries of the moment, when NOT to incorporate a distinctive voice. That's called judgment and that's what the AI doesn't have yet -- discernment.

And you can misquote me on that.

Week three and the anecdotes

1. Today's tasks centered around uploading documents. There are 2 separate places in which I have found an interface for uploading certain documents. Neither one works very well. Consistency! I also shared my screen with my aliyah coordinator who isn't the same as my aliyah advisor. Or the third person with whom I have a mystery appointment this week. But even then, I might have to fold in an entirely separate government office because, hey, why shouldn't I?

2. Confession time -- last week I had to be passive aggressive and I felt sick about it for the rest of the day and into the next day. I isn't my style and while it might have gotten stuff done, it isn't who I am and I don't want to be someone who routinely uses it to negotiate the ebb and flow of business around here. The real problem is that the same people to whom I was P/A last week are still (maybe) playing me this week. Is it possible that my appointment was cancelled 10 minutes after it was to start for purely innocent reasons? Maybe. Or maybe it is all just another power play. So now I'm busy judging people and that can't be good for me either.

3. Nothing is parallel to anything, at least in terms of streets. Occasionally streets run next to each other but that's just a capricious exigency. Don't count on it to help you get your bearings. Remember, everything is close to everything, but nothing is close to anything.

4. Israel's favorite shape is the circle. Person one refers you to person two, who says that the real expert is person three. Person three says that you need to ask person 1. Repeat. and using the required form on a website, I filed a paper with a company to show I was eligible for something. They respond by saying "what are you talking about." When I reply, they say, "oh, ok -- but you have to file the paper through this email." And now we wait.

5. After my time in Israel, my body is changing and I feel like a kid again - acne is breaking out, my lactose intolerance is back and I'm covered in mosquito bites.

6. My doctors appointment was at 10.45. I showed up early. The confirmation page said that the clinic was in the first floor, room 207. I came in and went up to the first floor. I didn't see room 207 but I was early. Do I check in with someone? So I took a number (popular in many offices, not just delis). It confirmed the appointment time. At 10.45 I worked up the nerve to ask if I should just walk into the Dr's office. The woman looked at the slip and said, "oh you have an appointment with a doctor!" I said yes and she then threw a Dr's name at me -- a name which I had not memorized and practiced saying a thousand times. I said, no, Dr Beilin. She didn't seem to understand. We went back and forth until she finally understood (I have a very strong non-Israeli accent so I actually pronounce words clearly...that must have thrown her off) and said I had to go to the office on the second floor, room 218. I said, the web page said 207 but by then she had lost interest. I went upstairs and was told to go to room 218. Yay, webpage confirmation. I walked to 218 and knocked. The Dr was in there with someone else so I sat in the chairs out side. At 10.58, the person with the ticket number before me was called in so maybe he is running 15 minutes late. The woman walked out only 5 minutes later but then the person with the ticket number after mine was called in. But he didn't move. I sat there, wondering what to do but then my number was called so I went in before the other guy had second thoughts. The doctor was very nice, asked good questions and explained a lot. Of course, most zoomed right out of my head, but he took down my prescriptions. By the end of our conversation (and it wasn't short, so that's nice) I had a prescription for my medicine and a prescription for routine blood work.  Down to the pharmacy I went, and I took a number. I was called and I handed over the prescription paper. She asked for my card (Arabic tinged Hebrew is even harder for me) and then filled my prescription while I waited. Instead of a bottle of pills, counted out to match the prescription, she filled a bag with boxes and containers which should add up to the number of pills I need. I don't know, but it is a lot of little boxes (11, in fact). She explained that one of them could only be filled for a month and I would have to come back to get the rest. I think that's ok, but I'm not 100% sure. I'll find out in the month. And I don't know how to refill the prescriptions. I also (finally) was able to buy calamine lotion (behind the counter...the only stuff not behind the counter seemed to be skin care, feminine hygiene and nursing stuff). I got home via an overly expensive coffee ($6.66 for a large black decaf which wasn't especially large) and painted the town pink. Maybe I can sleep tonight.

7. Very often, you (well, I) don't know how much things cost. I just put my credit card in and then take it out. No receipt, no confirmation of cost. I can see how people go in to debt.

8. I have done something I told myself I wouldn't do -- I bought something that I know I have coming on the lift because I need it sooner. I am aware that my sneakers are falling apart but so far, I have been able to avoid the expense of new ones with a judicious application of super glue. Is this a long term solution? Clearly not but I'll keep trying to avoid doubling up on stuff and spending money for the privilege. However, super glue, the answer to many of life's difficulties, can't clean my floors. So now I will have 2 broom/dustpan combos. Milchig and Fleishig maybe.

9. My foray back to the absorption office was quick and confusing. The woman who stamps documents agreed to stamp my BA and transcript (which, if you recall, she had said she didn't need). I asked her whereto submit my licenses which she stamped. Her response was two fold. First, she explained that she only stamped them in case it might help me get a job, and that she explained this to me last week. To quote the ever quotable Gary Gulman, "yeah...no." That's the kind of detail I would remember, and she didn't say it. This also ignores the fact that there is an entire department supposedly checking licenses (though they haven't answered my email inquiry about the process). Second, se said I could go back to the offices across the street from me and they will upload everything. I'm not so sure, as they told me to go to you, and when I worked with my rep over zoom she conceded that she had no solution for how to upload certain documents. The runaround is so substantial that I get my daily steps without ever having to leave my apartment.

Stay tuned for upcoming adventures like "A/C repair, episode 2" and "I have to buy a step stool" and, of course, "The whole job thing."

week 2, advice

 continued

1. Just because the road is one way doesn't mean there won't be cars coming from the other way

2. Just because an area is a pedestrian walkway doesn't mean there won't be cars

3. Yeah, no, that road is closed today and maybe tomorrow. Or not.

4. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- Israelis don't know how to set up properly laid out/constructed websites

5. Here's a quick guide for dealing with the US (East Coast) while trying to get things done here: You have (at best) between 3PM and 4:30PM (IST) to get things done. Before that, it isn't yet 8AM in the US. After that it is generally not business hours in Israel. There is a little flexibility as some offices in the US open earlier and some businesses here (depending on the day) might close earlier or later. Sapiens sat.

6. Hydrogen peroxide and rubbing alcohol are behind the pharmacy counter. My sister warned me of this but I, being a dutiful older brother, did not heed her wise words.

7. the plugs in your place are all the Type C (2 prong) or H (3 prong) but it looks like small digital clocks no longer use either of those and if they plug in at all, it is to a USB A wall plug. Maybe a USB C but I'm not sure about that. So unless you are in a place that has integrated USB into the wall plugs, you will need to buy an adapter. Or battery power, which I hate.

8. What they call a credit card (from whomever you get it) isn't a credit card. It is a bank-debit card, but it removes the money from your bank account at the end of the billing cycle. You might end up spending a lot more and you won't run out of "credit" because they don't add it up and compare it to your account balance until the end of the month. If you have multiple cards, they draw directly from the bank. Sure, you don't have to worry about paying a bill because the money is applied directly, but you have no way of knowing how "close" you are to your account balance until the end of the month.

9. You don't need as many clothes as you think you do -- washing machines are smaller so you will do loads more often. 

10. Bring twist ties. When I collected all the assorted twist ties I had lying around it numbered in the hundreds. So I threw them out. Huge mistake. Trust me. If you don't need them, I do.

11. This item will be discussed in a separate post which will be posted before this one. So if you are reading this, go back in time and read the other post, then come back here. Thanks.

12, If you go to a catered event, you still have to tip your waiter. Really. 

13. I don't know where you grew up, but I am used to having access to a car or not needing to go anywhere. a walk of a mile or two is considered no big deal so looking for some place "close" might mean something very different. And the hills. Everywhere is up. 

14. Building numbers are not always apparent and even less often, logical.

15. To pay for public transport, you need to get a Rav kav card or set up the moovit app to charge your credit card. I have a card but just set up the app and haven't tested it yet. Once I fail at that, I shall report back.

16. A4 is the paper size. Get used to slight longer and slightly thinner. Like life.

17. Even if you give a particular address, if your building has 2 different addresses, the delivery guy will go to the other, less convenient one.

18. Arnona is a neighborhood and also your "property tax". And a dessert topping, no doubt. Did I mention that neighborhoods have more than one name? Well they do. Renters pay an arnona even though they don't own property. It isn't cheap. So when you figure out your rent, realize that your monthly cost will be larger because you have to pay the arnona. It can be paid in a lump sum or in monthly installments.

19. I have yet to find anything that resembles a dry cleaner. Just saying.

20. Here's a good one -- I usually (clearly, "used to") send my shirts to be laundered at the dry cleaners and they were returned on hangars. I accumulated so many hangars and worked hard to get rid of them. Well, since no dry cleaners here I'll launder my own shirts. But I have no hangars on which to dry them. So, yeah. Hangars. Bam.

21. I don't know where you live but there is construction there.