More NFL observations

 

I have fallen and hurt myself. Even as a late teen and twenty something, I knew the pain of falling down and having to get up. There is simply no way that football players can heal as quickly as they do (during the game, between plays, and after major bodily traumas). They aren't Wolverine or anything -- their bodies, after they crash into others, fall, bounce etc. can't simply "be OK" no matter what kind of condition they are in. The human body isn't made to bend or get thrown down that way. Either they are robots, the whole thing is highly choreographed (like wrestling) or it is all just AI.

I was watching a game and there was a call for "unnecessary roughness" on a punt return. The call was announced and the announcers immediately segued to a completely different topic with no explanation and NO replay of what happened. Why do you think that is? It isn't that the game was back underway, and they always seem to have a replay for every player all the time. Why didn't they discuss and show this play? Because it probably didn't happen -- that's my conclusion.

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New info:

The Washington Commanders' helmets seem to have a slight lip or bill on them that, along with their color makes them look like WWI German helmets. Coincidence? I think not.

Ideas for television scheduling

 So I was watching some cable channel that ran old shows (reruns of The Rockford Files and Baa Baa Black Sheep calm me in my dotage) and I had an idea for one of those "theme" blocks of episodes. You play an episode of a series which introduced a character or story arc that was the prelude to a spinoff (or the last episode of that arc if there is more than one), and then play the first episode of the spin off.

So you play the episode of Happy Days which introduced Laverne and Shirley, and then the first episode of Laverne and Shirley. Sure, you will need the rights to more shows, just to get to isolated episodes, but seeing George Jefferson on All in the Family and then the first episode of The Jeffersons would be interesting. You can probably make a whole list of pairs of episodes like this.

Next programming idea is movies and TV shows that have actors who are known for playing opposite each other in X context, in this new context. You saw Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson in Thor: Ragnarok? Well, also watch MIB:International. I'm sure that this has also happened a lot of times (especially with so many TV shows out there that had stars before they were famous) so there have to be a lot of examples of this. George Clooney -- on ER, did he ever have an interaction with someone who had been on Facts of Life? There doesn't need to be an explicit callback by the actors -- the audience should just know that when it sees Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman on screen together in the MCU, it has already seen them together in Sherlock (though I don't know if they share screen time in the MCU).

Making the right call

I have been accumulating more info and have worked on a complex conspiracy theory regarding the NFL. You can look back to my previous posts about the charge that the league is more footbal-esque entertainment, with some sort of either scripting or pre-recording going on than it is a real league of honest to goodness sports competitiousness and in this post I'm going to lay more details out for you.

Here's an opening point -- I find that it is impossible for the guys in the booth to have spotted, analyzed, annotated, researched and prepped the in-depth analysis which they present so quickly after each and every play. Any viewer would have to watch a play repeatedly and possibly in slow-motion to see the movement of multiple players, and crucial block or the critical slip but these guys have already called out the player and instantly had the playback at the ready so that they can confidently draw up exactly what happened because a camera happened to be focused on the correct player (out of 40+ on the field) who does something noteworthy. That point of view is already spliced and cued up, ready for replay. No one has to ask for a specific angle or shot, player or move. Somehow the guy in the booth and the guys in the editing truck are in complete simpatico and can read each other's thoughts. Not buying it. Go, watch a game and see if you can see, come to conclusions about, and have the exact angle ready in a matter of 3-5 seconds after the play's completion. Not gonna happen. Just saying.

Next, I'll relay a recent incident. In addition to the gaffes which I have catalogued and presented, there's this -- I was watching Thursday Night Football last week and the play-by-play guy who might have been Al Michaels said that there was a flag on a particular play. On the screen, the little "Flag" yellow marker went up. His co-host (or the color commentator...I don't know the PC term for it anymore) started anticipating a penalty call on a specific player which would negate a 78 yard run back for a touchdown. He started to explain who committed the foul and on and on. Then the game went to commercial. When it returned to "live" coverage, the extra point was being kicked. Al Michaels said, "Well, apparently we had no penalty." Clearly, someone was off the page in terms of what was supposed to be happening. The experts were already dissecting a penalty, the graphic indicated a penalty but there was none on the field. Hmmm. Something problematic about that.

[side funny thought: I envision a cartoon which shows a football player severely bloody and cut up, looking at the ref and yelling "You're flagging ME? For HOLDING?" and opposite him, in the uniform of his competitor is Edward Scissorhands.]

So here's what I have decided: the NFL is an expression of a coup d'état orchestrated by the industrial-military complex in cahoots with the league.

**Sinister and melodramatic interlude

they're outside right now. A dog is barking in the empty hallway as footsteps die. The silence which is somehow not silence echoing, holding the memory of noise and the promise of the unknown. The NFL has found me.

** end sinister and melodramatic interlude

I noticed while watching a game on Monday Night Football that all the coaches on both sides (!) were wearing identical brown coats and camouflage hats. Now, sure, you'll probably say something about how that makes sense because of Veterans' Day recently and you'll reassure me that the outfit will be gone by this coming Sunday but that misses the point! The league is testing out the outfit to see if America responds to it. The goal is to drive us into a state of war with anyone and everyone. We have to accept the military as essential and wish to adopt their clothing style as a show of mass acceding. And I think that Vegas knows all this and works it into the calculation of odds for any game. This is all why reviewing a call has been such a big deal and why some plays and calls are non-reviewable. 

The problem is that, recently, the calls have become more and more obviously at odds with reality. More and more booth guys are questioning calls which undermines the authority which the officials need in order to skew a game in one direction or another. I expect that in the upcoming weeks, refs will take a small step back and "let them play" and guys in the booth will second guess less often, so that the league can ensure its continuing storylines.

And if anythig happens to me, it was the NFL. They're everywhere.

That led to an important realization on my part: on every play, ten out of the eleven players on each side do something which can be construed as guilty in terms of penalty-liable offenses. On any given play, you can probably find SOMETHIG in the actions of almost every player that COULD be flagged. On practically every play, every lineman on either side of the ball holds his counterpart in some way. There is always contact between member of the secondary and a receiver. Somebody on the line always moves before the snap even if the movement is small. The bottom line is that the fix in the game isn't absolute and isn't the clear control leading to a predetermined victor. Instead, the point is to steer the game in a general direction but not with such complete control. This steering happens through the selective work of the officials. The specific script isn't written but there are cues and prompts and a general story arc, shaped by the choices of officials to call or not call a particular offense.

Thoughts on Football

 Position -- The Offended Line

The largest of the players were called in, primed for a final push towards a first down. In the huddle, tense seconds ticking, one man raised his head and said, "Hey Rob," for the quarter back's name was, indeed, Rob, "me and some of the guys on the line think it is offensive that you bring us in for these brute force and short yardage plays -- it perpetuates the stereotype of us that we are nothing more than troglodytic cyclopses, capable of some grunting and pushing, but not of finesse and beauty. That's hurtful, Rob. It isn't fair and it isn't cool to judge us and say that we 'have to know our plays.' We demand equal right and left tackles. We can contribute in our own way and help make what can become OUR way."

A Grave Diss Service

 I write the following to my sister not because anything in specific has to do with her but because she, by geographic virtue (and chronological vice?) is closest so these things will fall within her purview.

Dear Nomi,

You have done such a fine job setting up and taking care of mom and dad's graves so I have some ideas I wanted to pass by you. Please take care of these things at my convenience.

First, I noticed that at the cemetary, and at others, there is a lot of sunlight and in many graveyards, there aren't sublevels and overhangs, meaning even more sunlight. Can you please start selling solar panels that be affixed to graves so that the deceased can help us generate more electricity?

Next, I would like it if you could set up a Ring doorbell on mom and dad's gravestone. I would like to be able to watch and see who visits -- I suspect that when my kids say that they are going to visit the grave, they are actually at home, throwing a party. Also, it would be neat to speak to someone who comes to visit the grave. I might even throw that person for a loop! Maybe an Echo Dot or the equivalent would be good also. I am not sure how or why but I like saying "Echo Dot" because it means "echo law/religion" in Hebrew.

Can you arrange to attach a dry erase marker to the grave so people can write notes? You might have to install a dry erase board also. Get er done.

For my grave (which I shan't need for quite some time) I'd like to eschew the traditional mausoleum and just have some animatronics installed. 

Thanks,

Dan

scraps

 I have been starting a number of different things and then losing interest and moving on so I will just dump 3 separate entries here. If they inspire you to keep writing about any of these, then that's great. If not, that's great also.

1. I wanted to go on record as stating that AI is not writing any of this. A longer discussion of the plusses and minusses of chat-apps writing or revising work, making images or composing music needs to be composed but these days, I am so sidetracked with work that I am not doing it. Just be aware, though -- I'm real and I'm really writing this.

2. I am working on a wikipedia entry. I want to create a new historical event so this is what I have so far:

The Farmers' Rebellion of 1871

The Farmers' Rebellion helped galvanize congress to subsidize less capable farmers so that they could be guaranteed a living wage despite gross incompetence. 

The movement, unofficially considered to have begun with the destruction of half empty solos in 1871 (see "the Granary Murders") signaled the spread of unionization beyond urban centers, 30 plus years before it even existed. 

Driven by the work of local Kansan Fred "Hero" Israel the work stoppage which was participated in by upwards of 2 farmers convinced the government that it was 1871 and really, nothing much else was going on. The resolution, sponsored by Badadiah L. Brown (R, Illinois) passed by a vote of 4 to 3 with an unknown number of votes for "confused." 

Sporadic violence against a variety of inanimate objects inspired Americans to rally around the cause, singing anthems such as "Don't corn me no Corn" and "Till til we till again."

3. A musing on the cult of celebrity surrounding football players:

Football players are working to cultivate a brand and commercial identity so much so and so distinct of their position as teammate that teams tend to draw attraction, yes by a won lost record primarily but following a close second, as the extension of a media personality. Less successful teams are measured by a lack of a face pervasive in the consumers' collective eye. Thus the less successful teams are not unknown despite having statistically significant athletes but because their local base does not actually watch football. 

On not sleeping

 It is 4AM. At this time yesterday, it was also 4AM. I know because I was there. And to help you all out, I can confidently say that, at least this morning, there was also a 1AM and a 2 AM and a 3AM.

Some nights I sleep just fine and other nights, well, I can guard reality from the incursion of dreams. You're welcome.

Not sleeping is sometimes the function of food. Eat something which leads to indigestion, stay up indigesting. Sometimes it is because of drink. Though drinks might help one fall asleep, they often interrupt regular sleep patterns and cause wakefulness soon after. Medicines can do the same thing, even those designed to help one sleep. Sometimes, it seems, there is almost a rebound effect and when the medicine wears off, sleep becomes impossible. Stress and worry can also leave one up, playing life's scenes over and over, including not just what was, but what wasn't, might be and could never be. And then worrying about all of that. Light, noise or other variables can also destroy the potential for a night's sleep, good or otherwise.

I have also found that, at least for my night-time sleep cycle, sometimes I'm just done -- wide awake and raring to go at some unholy hour. And getting a little more makes me feel more tired. I don't know if this is a trick of the mind or a real physiological syndrome -- 3 hours leaves me more awake than 5 hours, or something like that. Regardless, I'm up and the world (at least most of this time zone) is at rest. The occasional car drives by and I wonder who else is in such a fix as to be awake? Someone coming home or someone going out. Is the day over or just starting. But for me, day and night become blurred. And tomorrow I might be sharp as a tack or dull as a tack that has been beaten down by lack of sleep.

They say that the similes are the first to go.

So here's to bad decisions -- a cup of caffeinated tea at 4:10AM, guaranteed to wreak havoc on my various systems, physical and mental. Then, when the time seems right, I shall neither rise nor shine, but just keep plugging until my body decides that sleep is a viable option.

Wishing all you night owls, morning glories and midafternoon muskrats a pleasant next wake-wake cycle.