On Vacation

I'm on vacation -- can you guess where I am? Here are some photos:

I'm sitting here enjoying the peace and quiet that is vacation. The weather is glorious, the food has been a fantastic exploration of cultures and styles, the accommodations are perfectly suited to me and the company has been perfect. Yes, I'm sitting alone, in my bedroom, staring at the computer.

Honestly, I don't understand why people go anywhere. Vacation means NOT HAVING TO GO ANYWHERE! Here I am, sitting in a t-shirt and pants that don't fit and no shoes, feeling relaxed and comfy and I didn't have to get on a plane to get that feeling. I have read a book; I have watched a movie or two; I have gone out for food (that was a mistake...I had my next meal delivered -- much more civilized). What could other places in the world have for me? Do I lack scenery? Nope -- if I want lush, verdant landscapes, I just look here and if I want to skywatch, I go here. I have not had to contend with fires, earthquakes, blizzards or sticky children. There is no waiting on line just so I can sit in a theatre and watch a show. I just go to the couch, sit down and watch. 

What does the outdoors have for me? Bugs? Pass. Shin splints and dry heaves? No thanks, that's all you. Arguments about what to do next? Only in passing. Hey kids, where'd we leave the car? In our spot and it will be there when I have to go back to work. I'm doing laundry RIGHT NOW so there won't be piles for me to wrestle with when I "come back."

This morning, after morning prayers, I got back into bed. You know why? Because I wanted to. I didn't go to sleep-- I snuggled up and peeked my eyes out and realized that I had no where to be and no rush to get there. That is vacation. If I want it colder or warmer, I adjust the thermostat or put on a cozy sweater and sit here eating a box of Corn Chex. Do I miss the excitement of traveling to parts unknown? Short answer, no. Long answer, nnnnnnooooooooooo.

I will have to shower at some point and then maybe get real clothes on so I can go out and buy something. I don't know what, but something. Then I'll come back here, get under the covers and cackle at all you suckers who are waking up and rushing outside so you can lie there and not waste a moment of doing nothing somewhere else. You want to ride horses? Go surfing? Ski some moguls (not the CEO type)? Climb a mountain? See a show?

I don't. Now leave me alone. I'm on vacation.