My review of Twisters

Into the pile of unnecessary sequels we throw Twisters, a movie with some sort of connection to the original but that isn't really discussed at all. The first movie was good and interesting though filled with obvious stereotypes and cliches. This movie goes a step further -- it is full of even more tropes and trite bits but has zero redeeming story to contextualize this.

This movie is a collection of all of the most over done lines and bits and pieces, each presented in the worst possible way. And the effects are surprisingly bad. This really is just bad on many, many levels. Every trope you can imagine pops up somewhere -- genre hopping, narrative twisting, focus shifting. You know how we sometimes share our vision in language of marriage? (eg. "that movie is like if Harry Potter had a baby with Rocky Horror and lived in Free Willy's house") This movie is involved in a polyamorous series of relationships, open to the public and some are abusive.

This is such a hot mess that I was actually retching while trying to dream up a proper analogy for how much of a warm puddle of vomit this film is. And it keeps getting worse. This is everything bad about good movies and everything good about bad movies, just done poorly.

It achieved what I thought was its ultimate form of utter crapulence in record time but the joke was on me -- it was not in its final form. No. Far from it. This movie had not even begun to dig down deeper. This piece of excrement sets constant records for the includion of random tropes and cliches. Every method, every twist, every everything and anything that doesn't make sense or get explained just bolsters the confusion. It treads well-established lines, each a distinct and discrete entry in a dictionary of devices. Every thing is intentional and clear. Just bad. All kinds of bad. In every sentence and at every juncture, there is something I have seem a million times before and always better.

This would make great fodder for a family game night -- play the movie for everyone, and whoever wants to spot or call out a trope, clicke or stereotype must pause the movie and explain it. Others vote on whether it counts as a well established device. Hint -- it is.

Is there a way to give it negative stars? Like, I want to send a bill to the movie guys for my time, which I wasted watching it. They owe me stars. Painfully bad.

Bad editting, lack of continuity, plot holes in the plot holes, and a constant stream of things you recognize, to make you wish you were watching literally anything else. It was horrible. Do not recommend.