Saturday, August 18, 2018
"Rise" and shine
Later this week, one of my kids will be moving to Israel. I know, I know, she has been there for a while now, going to seminary, serving in the army, living in an apartment and (judging by the credit card statements) taking taxis every time she needs to go to the bathroom. But this week she makes it official and is making "aliyah" -- becoming a citizen of Israel. She will be going to college there and making her life there. I'm not as sad as you might think for a few reasons:
1. With technology, I can speak to and see her for free as often as time zones and her social schedule allow, much the same as it would be were she to be attending a college here in the states.
2. I have gotten used to the idea over the last 3 years as she has been there and carried a grenade launcher.
3. My credit card is solid enough that I can go visit or I can pay for her to come here whenever the mood strikes as long as the mood limits itself to once or twice a year.
4. She has a lot of family there now and knows how to get around so I am not as worried about her being "alone" the same way I was years ago. Sure, I'm sad because I can't simply swoop in and save her, but she's (effectively) an adult who can take care of herself. And knows how to use a big gun.
But this is a perfect situation for me to write another list of dad-based advice, some of which I might have posted before, but I don't read what I post, so I'm not sure. Apologies if some of this is a repeat but, hey, odds are, you aren't the intended audience. There are over 7 billion people in the world and only one is my elder daughter so for almost all of you, this isn't even written for your eyes, so take a step back and chill. Maybe even don't read any more; I already have record of your visit so my ego has been massaged.
Kid --
First, and I'll say this right off, we are so very proud of you. We are proud of the step you are taking and the way you are taking it. Sure, we're scared, sad and often hungry, but these days, whop isn't? So go, take wing and soar. But don't think that you can escape the fatherly truisms.
You are there to excel, not coast. Establish priorities and do excellent work.
Get ahead in your reading, and take notes while you read.
Get the paperwork done as soon as you can -- don't wait for a deadline to arrive.
Ask questions, take notes and write down who told you what.
Focus. Don't try to multi-task. Manage your time so you can take care of things on a long term, thought out schedule.
Anticipate what others will think, want, need or do and be a step ahead.
Don't wait for anyone to ask you to do a kindness. Do it before anyone knows it needs to be done.
When asked, do more.
When doing anything, do it better than anyone else, even if it isn't necessary. Excellence must become second nature.
Not every situation requires blame. Not every situation demands anger.
Make your first reaction a deep breath and a pause to consider.
Make your first thought one of compromise.
Make your first statement based in understanding, context and a wish to make things better for others.
Sometimes the only resolution requires giving in. Do it graciously and without reminding anyone that that's what you are doing.
Don't keep score. Be in the moment.
Folders, folders, folders.
Remember your family -- you will always have us in your corner, at least metaphorically, because sometimes, you will be outside and outside doesn't have literal corners.
A dad always wants to help but sometimes has to let you work things out. And sometimes has to tell you you are wrong.
A sister is the best friend you will ever hate. And verse visa.
A mom is sometimes like a sister and a sister is sometimes like a mom. But not always. And often not.
By the way, your sister will be visiting you occasionally [I have to start writing her sappy post...awesome!]. She needs you to be a sister while she is there. That should now be sufficiently confusing.
For every time you miss the dog, just realize that he wants to eat your face.
The world is a tough place full of mean people who are horrible. It already has enough jerks -- it doesn't need you to be another one.
Like finds like. Find and like people who are kind.
Save money. Seriously -- you have become really adept at scrimping and saving. Keep it up. If you just use it when you have it, then you won't have it when you really need it. Walks are free.
Give people another chance without telling them that that's what you are doing.
Most people in the world don't have it as good as you do. That may seem untrue, but it is. You have funds, a roof and a support network. Share with the world; more people need it than don't.
You come from really great stock. Make sure you know who you are and why that matters.
You are part of a fabulous country and a special religion. Cherish them both, celebrate them both, and be proud of both. Do not compromise who you are.
Text me before you video chat me because sometimes I'm trying to sleep or work. Not often, but it could happen.
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I'm sure that over the upcoming days, weeks, months and years, I'll think of more cliches to throw your way, but remember (and this comes from an English teacher) they are cliches because they are true.
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