Another Opening Another Show

A whole bunch of years ago, a wise man and I were discussing work. He was leaving his job, as was I (well, I was leaving mine, not his) and I explained that I had worked very hard at doing so much as to be irreplaceable. He said,

"The graveyard is full of irreplaceable people."

That stuck with me. We think of ourselves as performing a necessary function. Of being such an integral cog in a lurching machine that without us, nothing would move forward. But it would. Maybe with some initial fits and starts but life would go on. I am about to begin a new school year. For a teacher, that's a significant thing. If I were a lawyer or art gallery owner, the new school year would be somewhat less important. But I'm a teacher, so, yeah. That. This is going to be something in the range of my 25th year (I'm not good with numbers and it is tough to know what to count -- student teaching? The year I was only an administrator and had no classes of my own?) Regardless, it will be a major milestone, another new beginning - a chance to reinvent myself, rediscover what it is I do, and treat a new batch of students as if they are my first charges. I can't be the jaded pro who knows it all and just wants to slog through the year. The students have to get the impression that this is not my 25th year, but the 25th first year of my teaching.

I still get nervous. I still have trouble sleeping. I'm still scared of messing up, of being called out as not knowing things. I still wonder what it is exactly that I do. I'll still go in to that classroom and be that everything-guy, that actor, that mentor, that parent, that friend, that taskmaster, that resource, that jerk, that ear and whatever else any student needs me to be at any moment, whether s/he knows it or not. This is my task -- no matter how I feel, or whatever is going on in my life, I have to be there for the class. They deserve no less. Sure, there is new technology, but this dinosaur still has to drive the car and mix the metaphor for this nonsense to all make sense.

Over the last twelvemonth, since my last Opening Day, a lot has changed. I'm not the same person and in some ways, I'm sad about that. I suffered a loss and I have done so much that I want to share with my dad. But I have also learned incredible things that I can still share with my students, my family and friends. I have worked on independent projects, I have heard new songs. I have crafted new ideas and worded them in ways which capture more than I thought I could express. I have not gone gentle: I'm a teacher and I'm not allowed to.

So I'm off (way off) to work, to school, to have some fun and maybe, just maybe, motivate others so be better than they are right now. Ask me in June how it worked out.

See you on the other side.