You're wrong, but more importantly, you're bad

I received a message from a former student this morning. He is one of the few who actually spends his time thinking about stuff and working through deep concepts so I was flattered that he included me in the loop of thought. He mentioned that he is disheartened by the state of the modern world in certain ways. He wrote, "I hate how judgmental society and especially the Modern Orthodox Jewish community is". That got me thinking, a dangerous eventuality but what's done is done and so I'm thinking. Kaboom. So here is a bit of brain pie from your Crazy Uncle Dan for you to chew over. And over.

I'll start by opining about being judgmental. We all do it. We size up situations and see what fits and what doesn't into the box which is the society we have set for ourselves. "Look at that guy" we say, "he just changed lanes with(out) his blinker...that's horrible." We have judged him. "How about that joker...(not) wearing pants at such a fancy restaurant...what is he thinking?" Judging, again. As we belong to a variety of overlapping communities, cultures and societies, our schema for judging runs a range. From parenting, to diet, to fashion, to sports to religion -- we look at what others do and decide if their expression of self is acceptable in our little world.

We judge because we are insulating ourselves and defining the parameters of comfort in our bubble. We create an in and an out group so we know who belongs and who doesn't. It keeps us safe and helps us decide whom to invite over for dinner and a nice game of Pictionary. It isn't a bad thing all the time but it has fallen out of favor because of where it can lead -- not Pictionary, judging. Should we profile people? Do I cross the street to stay away from some people, or do I pay more attention to certain age groups when they enter my store because my experience has taught me that certain genders or ages are more likely to engage in unsavory activities? Do I have to wait for actions before I can judge even if, by the time the actions take place, the damage could be done? How about people who espouse beliefs -- can I judge them on the whole by their expressed positions in one area? Do I have to accept everyone all the time or am I allowed to say "anyone who hates little dogs is dead to me"? Must I be tolerant or even accepting of all the divergent opinions? One common answer is "this doesn't mean you can judge the person" but maybe I can! If someone's position is pro-rape, I think I'm pretty safe in judging on the whole and not saying "he's just a fine person with a singular point that we disagree on."

When it comes to religion, things get even murkier -- part of judging is the attempt to further a heritage which is the defined society. Religious rules and norms ensure continuance of a community so we judge because we are perpetuating norms which got us this far. If we accept variation, we risk losing our discrete identity, but if we don't we look like ultra-traditionalists who can't face change. Some of us chafe at this restrictiveness and say that we, as a people have changed a bunch over the years so why stop now? But then the fear emerges: if we let a little change, how do we draw the line and decide that the next step is off the cliff? Back in the day (the year 1100, for example, maybe even 1101) changes we very local and moved slowly because communication was sans internet (true!). So if there was a need for a limited change, it took a while to get around and sink in. Now, things are a step faster than instant so we have changes upon changes and the slippery slope surrounds us constantly. Our reaction is to build our walls more solidly and allow even less because we have more potential for drastic shifts. Additionally, built into Orthodox Judaism is the need to judge. We have laws and responsa which establish the limits of behavior and we have to enforce and call people out when they stray. The only way we can continue as a unified group is by walking the walk, talking the talk and correcting those who don't. And while it is attractive to excuse (or at least ignore) private behavior and say that what we don't know doesn't affect what we do know, the current atmosphere is to allow the private to be public without repercussion, forcing the religious person to have an opinion and, yes, judge.

Here are two side analogies. They're free, so go with it.

Some Jewish communities are turned into a particular legal-construct as a "private domain" through the use of an eiruv (a string surrounding the entire community). In the past, because of physical limitations, the status of the integrity of the string could only be checked on a particular schedule, let's say monthly. "Monthly." Well done. If there is no reason to think that, in between checks, it has broken, we rely on what we last knew. But now, with drones and other technology, maybe we could check it more frequently and know definitively more often if it retains its proper structure. We can no longer hide behind "it was ok last week". More technology means more knowledge which means more definite opinions.

We know more and more about food production, and there are more cameras installed so we don't have to trust restaurants -- we can check up on them. And if we find out about problems that maybe were always there, now we have to act on them. For a position paper on a similar situation, read here. Before we knew, we could withhold judging. But once we know, we have to say something.

So we judge. We tell people when they are doing something which we don't approve of and we hope that our society's norms will be refined by the mass acceptance of a particular mode of behavior and the condemning of another. What we disapprove of through something approaching consensus draws our line in the sands of time. The tension between "modern society" and "modern Orthodoxy" pulls us in mutually exclusive directions as it relates to judging.

We have always judged as Jews. But we have chosen to know less and trust more. That era might be over. We know more and can trust less because we can know even more. With greater knowledge comes a greater responsibility to establish those lines or risk losing our defining shape. Do I like judging? Not especially. But is it part of who we are as humans and Jews? Yes. For good and for bad, yes.