Reflections while shopping

 

I took M and her E2B to the local shoparite to pick up some staples (I get my food from Office Depot) and while we wandered the aisles I took some pictures so I could share my sense of gruntlement (dis and dat) with youse all because you haven't been quick enough to click on any other web address. Welcome to my nightmare, kids.

So, here's something I saw in the "kosher cakes" section:

First, off that cake is not white. It might be white underneath, but it isn't white. Racial concerns aside, I see chocolate frosting. Let's say, though, that the cake inside is white. In my experience, it almost always is, and if the cake is chocolate, then the goop between cake is white -- contrast saves lives everyone. But either way, which is the "layer" by which one counts a cake? Is it the cake, or the goop separating? Is it novel that either one or the other is white? Also, did you notice the fourth ingredient? "Cake emulsifier". Never heard of it. Emulsifier? Maybe. "Cake"? Yup. But not "cake emulsifier" as opposed to any other sort. My education progresses.

Next up, same section:

All I wanna say is that that middle container has the least appetizing food in it that I have ever seen. I shan't descend scatalogical, but, suffice to say, I'm thinking it. I also call your attention to the 3rd ingredient, "Fudge base." Choose your own adventure, humor wise. Just keep it to yourself.

Next up, we have this -- "Performance Muffins." I didn't know if the performance was Moliere or Ibsen, of if a muffin that had strength was a good idea so I kept moving. It also looked like the secret ingredient is "steroids." I swear he followed me out to the car and asked "you wanna go? Huh? Huh? Wanna go, wise acre?" A muffin called me a "wise acre." Farm to table, I guess.

I'm troubled by this and it is hard to explain why. The idea that a cereal has a "retro" version is problematic. Like the opposite of "new and improved" -- this box is "old and bad, from before we discovered how to make it edible". Then, to think that the retro version is the one that has actual honey in it...as opposed to what, exactly?

And finally (over here...Sparky has one to talk about on his page), we have this, a special for my Jewish friends. Now, I know there is an explanation which makes sense under Jewish law, but I want you to put yourself in the mind of a less informed kosher consumer and imagine how confused you might be:

Again, I know that there is no contradiction here to those of us who understand, but someone who is not as familiar with labeling and religious considerations, this must be a brain twister.