travel day

 First off, an important announcement: I SLEPT LAST NIGHT.

Next, let's retrace my steps to explain how I got to that momentous event.

Monday morning, I did not feel fine. I had set an alarm but then, out of an abundance of caution, I made sure not to sleep at all beforehand, so I was up on time. And I felt gross because, no sleep make Dan something something. I filled the time with both tossing AND turning, and a Jack Reacher novel (The Secret). No spoilers but the secret is that Reacher doesn't die. Boom.

I prepared for my trip to Hod Hasharon which is Hebrew for "the Hod of the Sharon." You're welcome. On Sunday, the directions said to take a 930 bus from the bus station, Monday, the directions said to take the 950 bus. Inflation in Israel is mad crazy. I walked to the bus station and I didn't get lost because I walked uphill. I found me way to platform 17 on the third floor. I got on the bus, already proud of myself for not getting lost and being able to read the numbers 17, 3 and 950 in Hebrew. I sat down and quickly checked my phone. I had a missed call and a message both telling me that my 10AM appointment was canceled. I called back and said that I was already on the bus (true) and they said to come at 11. Then, a minute later, the bus began to go so I stayed on it. The message had said that I had not reconfirmed that I was coming. True, but I didn't know I had to so there's that.

The bus started moving and so did my stomach. Between the 1 cup of Earl Grey (hot) tea, the lack of sleep and the herky jerky motion of the bus, I was in a bad way. But, if you checked this motning's news, there was no story of "grumpy tourist caffeinates a 950 bus riders without permission" so I somehow kept it together, not resting, not relaxing. Just feeling hot and nauseous. I got to my stop and let Google Maps help me know where to walk. The route it gave was inexact, but so am I. I walked the 10 minutes to my appointment, had a grand old time there, and then found Brian. Brian and I drove to pick his daughter up (I would not be lying when I said that Brian entered the secure campus of the school by telling the guard he was going to visit the dairy called Edna -- please ask no questions for I have no answers). Then to drop Elise home in Tel Aviv, and off to his office.

I failed completely at helping his wife with a pdf, and then he and I went down to the lobby (you have to indicate your destination before you get on the elevator, and then it tells you which elevator to take. Once you get on, no changing your mind! There are no buttons in the elevator so if you miss something, gotta start over. We crossed from the lobby to the food court in the adjoing mall (which also served the connected Tel Aviv Medical Center). Apparently all the food is kosher except for McDonald's. Just like in the US! We went to Al Dente. He got salad and I got pizza. Very buttery and crispy. Good flavor. I got two slices to go and they stacked them in a bag. No boxes here.

Brian then gave me directions to the central train station. They seemed simple enough but just to be sure, I also loaded them into Google Maps and expected a seamless transition from feet to wheels. Not so much. The maps had me walking and suddenly being on a train in the middle of the street. I crossed, recrossed (both legally and not), walked up and back and simply could not magically be on a train. I asked a guy on the street (who was also not on a train) and he referred me back the way I came. So I walked back and found some stairs that headed down and there was a clip art of a train so I figured I was in business. Clearly, I'm not a business man. Inside the station, I couldn't find anything that mentioned a train to Modi'in (which was my destination -- I wasn't just capriciously looking for that) so I asked a guy in the control room. He told me that the train was up so I had to leave, go in a certain direction, then go there. I thanked him for the precision, left the station and walked a bit and across a street and found another set of stairs. I ended up on the other end of the exact same station. So much for directions. I asked the security woman and she said I had to walk to the bus terminal and I would see a sign for the trains. It was a blue sign. Now THAT resonated with me, so I walked back up and scanned the various horizons until I founf (no where near where either Brian or Google told me to go) a blue sign that said something cryptic like "Central Train Station." That train must have been the right one because I did not have to go down to get to it. My theory holds true. The right way is up. I arrived just in time to miss my train so I took the opportunity not to get on the train I missed but instead to wait for the next one. Never one to miss an opportunity am I.

The 121 train from Tel Aviv to Paatei Modi'in was about 8 stops of quiet. Very nice. I davened mincha on the train, and exited the station. Avrum picked me up and we drove from the station to a shul for ma'ariv and then to his house. He lives in a suburb of Modi'in (which to my mind, is like living in a suburb of a suburb, but what do I know?). We sat in his house and I schmoozed with him, Eliana and Orli. We played with a relatively new baby, talked about times, old and new (and pending). We ordered from Alesh (a meat restaurant). I got a burger and fries. The fries were too much, if you know Aramaic) but the hot and yummy. I had asked for them to hold the onion from my burger but I needn't have worried. All the toppings were packed separately so I could build-a-burger to my own specs. I added pickles and tomatoes and fries. There were kebabs, fried cauliflower,  rice and beans (or vice versa, I don't judge), and Seven-Up Zero (who knew?). I ate well, making only a couple of mistakes.

Phone calls were made, plans laid, and much rejoicing in the streets. Then a ride to another train station, goodbyes and see you laters exchanged and I went in for my rides back. The first thing to know is that there was no train to Jerusalem. Next, I had to figure that any train going in approximately the right direction would stop at the airport and I knew I could transfer there. So I found the next train to leave for Naharia and hopped on. Two stops later, airport, and then a switch. While waiting for the Jerusalem train, a soldier asked me to watch his stuff as he ran to the restroom. I was guarding the guardsmen and it felt cool. I sat on the train next to an Arab family coming back from vacation. They had 2 kids and the younger one (a girl) was having none of it. She must have been about 3 and unhappy about something. But a crying screaming child did not bother me. First, I wasn't intending to sleep anyway and second, it reminded me of my own children who used to cry and scream endlessly as recently as last week. (I kid because I can -- I love my grown, adult, mature children. When I find them, I'll let you know).

Jerusalem was windy. Exceptionally windy. But I finally knew how to get back to N+D's house without getting lost so I opted for that. In the house got myself ready for bed (10:15) read "King Matt" for a while and then, it seems, got a reasonable night's sleep as the wind howled, the rain poured and the rest of the responsible people did whatever life demanded of them. Breakfast has been a cup of NON caffeinated tea and a good stretch.

My plans for today? I think I might write some follow UP emails, and grade papers. Thanks for asking.

So in sum, I took a bus, 3 cars, and 3 trains and lived to tell the tale. As a public-transport-a-phobe this was quite the break through. Alert the media!