A weighty subject

I have been thinking about losing weight. I don't mean that I have been only thinking about it because I don't intend to do it, though that is a reasonable conclusion to draw. I really have been spending brian cells considering it as a concept. Crazy, right? Beats exercise.

But anyway, here's my thinking, and I say this as someone who has been on a weight affective diet for 20 or so years. It doesn't work. Now, hold on there sport. I don't mean what I say. Exactly. I mean, sure it works, but only that it doesn't. i hope that that clears everything up.

I'm on a low-carb kind of diet. I eat green veggies (occasionally) and eat proteins and fats. Like fried cows with no breading, or grilled cheese, minus the sandwich. I started this Atkins-esque approach because I was somewhat "overweight" and wanted an approach that didn't require that I measure anything, or exercise, and that allowed me to eat animals and such. I found that if I stuck to entire chickens or a block of cheese, the pounds melted off. I dropped weight, and as long as I limited my intake of such bad things as fruit and vegetables, I was fine, if not depressed. I also found that my cholesterol rose but only in the good way -- my ratio is fantastic so while my overall number looks high, it is only so because I am doubling up on the good stuff. Here's to you, steak!

Ofr course with great weight loss comes great irresponsibility so I find myself subject to cravings sometimes. And I cave. I cave like a collapsing cave would cave were it not for a well-built set of supports keeping the cave from caving in. I eat what I want and the self-loathing kicks-in in 5...4...3...always. After these momentary setbacks which last from an hour to 2 weeks, I balloon back to my former size (when I am twice the many I used to be) and I punish myself by avoiding sugars and increasing my intake of cream cheese wrapped in edam. And vice versa.

And repeat.

Now, today (while I was eating my brussels sprouts and cheating with some sweet potato fries), I was listening to a conversation that the local vegan was having with another teacher about what he ate. He is on a strict raw foods kind of thing. I also listened to the people who avoid gluten like the plaque. What I realized is "they still exist."

My understanding was that if I were to continue on my diet, I would continue to lose weight. Therefore, people should eventually disappear, having lost all the weight that constitutes their being. Makes sense, right? Prove me wrong.

Well, you say, in a vain attempt to to unpack the inescapable logic I have presented, that's not how it works. Like you know. The body, you insist, can be reduced to a certain amount around its desired and best point -- a frame will always have a stasis, a size which is optimal for that body.

Fine, I say, having drawn you in to my whirlpool of brilliance, then why do we assume that the optimal weight exists on some chart or is the knowledge-province of experts who aren't even in my body? Huh? No answer. Maybe my body WANTS to be 10 pounds heavier than some expert insists is right for me! Maybe I keep bouncing back (in a jolly fashion, I might add) to a higher weight because I'm supposed to be at that weight and the lower fringes of the range I have occupied, if they can only be maintained by serious deprivation and concommitant sadness, must be perversions of who I am and am meant to be. There are plenty of people who "eat right" and even (dare I say it) exercise, but they don't lose weight. Their body has exerted control over the body. The die has been cast, and cast in XL pants.

So diet doesn't work because it is a distortion of the true nature of things. Yes, a particular set or volume of foods can get me back to my optimal weight after I have intentionally packed on the pounds, but moderation will take me back to that optimal place where, health experts be damned, I need to be. No apologies.