A new Business Idea -- Seeking Investors

I have been teaching high school English for over 30 years and this has not really taken me to the heights of richdom, which was my life goal. So I have tried to find ways through which I could supplement my income without having to do much more work. I have asked nicely for a sinecure, tried to sell my leftover chulent, wrote a few books that never sold. So what's left other than winning the lottery (at which I have proven a collossal failure)?

Yesterday, for approximately 75 of the 5 hours of sunlight, I stared at my computer screen as I ran my parent-teacher conferences. These 4 minute sessions give me a chance to meet parents and tell them how my feet hurt and their children are ugly. And vice versa.

During the day, I spoke with one parent who asked me if I had taught at a particular school many years earlier. I checked my notes and, indeed, I had! It turns out, I was his teacher in 11th grade and he failed a quiz on The Moonstone and earned a 55 on the quiz for 1984. As I looked up his records, I started seeing the spate of parents whose children I have taught or do teach. Could I but see the future, I would, no doubt, see a continuing list of parents who survived my tutelage and whose children are on the path towards my clutches.

So I went back and looked at the grades. This kind of information is exactly what a child would love to know about a parent so that when a parent yells "you can do better" or something, the child can shoot back, "why should I, you failed a couple of quizzes and missed some homeworks!"

The business model I have in mind is based on a bedrock technique with a long history: blackmail.

All I need to do is to threaten parents that I will make my old gradebooks available to students if they don't cough up some quality holiday gifts, tips and random trips to Europe. It would be, um, "unfortunate" if your son or daughter were to find out that you still owe me work, and earned a really solid 83 in my class after begging me repeatedly.

I'm looking for investors for my scheme. Investors, you ask -- but why. Honestly, you are right. There is very little overhead. But here's what I figure -- you send me a couple of thousand bucks to get my venture off the ground. I don't need the money, but it would make me happy. When the blackmail starts paying off, I'll give you the money back, promise.

Unless you used to be one of my students. In that case, you might want to make it a contribution. Or else.

What's Up, Chuck?

I grew up reading Peanuts, the brilliant comic strip by Charles Schultz. My parents had collections and books back to the 50's and the daily newspaper kept me on a steady diet of childhood angst and philosophy.

There were, therefore, certain truths were a big part of my life. Charlie Brown would never kick the football, rarely (and never with witnesses) fly a kite and never win a baseball game. Basic stuff upon which I could build a solid foundation of a depressingly empathetic childhood.

Part of this education was my repeated listening to the soundtrack to the Broadway musical, "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." I listened to it, easily, over a hundred times. I would come home from school (in the era before computers and with limited TV access, people listened to the radio or audio) and put on the album. Sometimes I would pace the living room, singing the whole thing, sometimes  would lie on the floor, singing the whole thing. There were other positions I held, but in each one, I sang. I knew the words and all the parts. My parents had ticket stubs from when they went. There was a playbill. I even got a copy of the book version with all the lyrics and such.

Heck, last year, I decided to take a picture of the vinyl and my holdings and ask Mr. Gary Burghoff for an autograph and he sent me one!

So I put the CD on last week (it has the cast recording plus 3 early versions sung by the composer) and I started pacing and singing. But as an adult, I started listening to the words and realized how much of a lie is wrapped up in just one song, "TEAM." In the song, Charlie Brown the pitcher and manager of a local baseball team, is recounting a recent loss. But the set up: they were playing for the championship "For all we have to do is win just one more game
And the championship is ours." You can't get to the championship game without winning during the season (note, "one MORE game")! So even if young Master Brown was not pitching or even playing, he, as the manager, was involved in winning games!

Then Lucy screws up. No one ever yells at Lucy, but she caught a fly ball and dropped it! Is that Charlie's fault? Heck no!

Then, to make it worse, we get to the final stanza. Here's the introduction:

"And one run would win us the game
As I came up to bat"

One run could win it. That means that the game is TIED! Charlie brown gets up with 2 men on and 2 out. Two outs. That means that two players already made out that inning. Is the loss then Charlie Brown's fault? It was a team loss. But his striking out should not have spelled the end of the game because, remember, the score was tied.

So how am I supposed to feel? Charlie Brown's team is still tied with the other team, battling for the championship. Charlie Brown isn't a loser at all -- he has managed his team this far, victories and all. Next thing you'll tell me is that he kicks the football.

Voice Note 2

Back in my younger years, I was considered quite the wiz in trivia. I had my specialties but I could chime in with right answers on a variety of subjects because I had a collection -- a collection of facts.

Not everybody had access to these facts not everybody had recall of these facts. I had the books, I had done the reading, I had collected the facts and I was showing off my collection. That's no longer the case now. 

Fewer people collect facts because facts are no longer scarce, therefore fewer people value the collectors. Like everything else that's no longer collected, facts are just something you can have access to by opening up your phone. Ask someone something and he says "hold on a second. I'll Google it." I could be in the middle of the street and I have to look something up, "hold on a second I'll Google it." If you ever ask somebody to diffuse a bomb? "hold on a second I'll get a YouTube video" will be fine. I no longer have to be afraid.

I also no longer have to think everything's available for my brain to store put in short-term memory to use when I need it (and then discard) so trivia no longer has a home here. Who cares about it? I can get that answer and wait a split second longer, and I can source my answer. 

And this is why it isn't even fun being a nerd anymore.

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I'm not posting the original. I saved myself typing time but have all this extra editting time.

Voice notes, 1

I have decided to try something new. When I get one of my inspirative moments, when the muse hath descended and left a spoor of golden brilliance, instead of grabbing pen and paper and using one to write on the other (details are hazy) I tried a voice transcription. Now I just have to go back to the spoken word vomit that I had my phone type up, polish the grammar and, boom, blog post.

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I'm a high school English teacher I struggle with how to teach novels. Many older teachers preferred to teach chapter by chapter and they passed this along to the teachers they mentor assigning students a chapter or two chapters with a quiz and then a pause while students discuss what has happened and what might happen in the future I believe that this might have been a valid and useful tool for two reasons if you go back far enough. I can't support any of this but here's my thought reason number one in the olden days of old back when everything was old and America was young and some things were new not everybody had the book so the book probably had to be broken up and chapters passed around until everybody had a chance to read it then another one could be passed around while groups know what's going on and develop ideas some are still waiting to get it and then they get the ideas that are more fully flushed out after they read it informed by the discussion of their peers and it cycles and more people can be involved in Reading different stages of the book at different paces that's just a crazy Theory but that's not really what I think is going on here I think that in the past reading only bit by bit was a way teachers used to keep students in suspense when they had no other way of having access to the resolution of plot points. Now it's so easy to get the entire story so quickly asking students to read bit by bit is useless because they just as quickly can look up the entire story summarized for them by chat GPT So reading little by little was a great technique when the kids had no other way of finding out what happens in the story no internet not even necessarily any radio or TV if you go back far enough all they had was the opportunity to read and that time might be very limited so have them read one chapter you can have a great discussion about one chapter and then people can read the next and they'll be excited excited because there's no other way that they're learning how this story turns out now students can get anything anytime they want it so teachers can't be concerned with building suspense by withholding information from students nothing is withheld they can find out anything you said and stuff you didn't say also.

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ok, I need to work on dictating punctuation. I shall now rework this -- isn't process grand?

I'm a high school English teacher and I struggle with how to teach novels.

Many older teachers preferred to teach chapter by chapter, and they pass this along to the teachers they mentor, assigning students a chapter or two chapters followed by a quiz and then a pause while students discuss what has happened and what might happen in the future.

I believe that this might have been a valid and useful tool for two reasons if you go back far enough. I can't support any of this but here's my thought:

1. Reason number one -- in the olden days of old back when everything was old and America was young and some things were new, not everybody had the book so the book probably had to be broken up and chapters passed around until everybody had a chance to read it.  Then another section could be passed around; while groups know what's going on and develop ideas some are still waiting to get it and then they get the ideas that are more fully flushed out after they read it informed by the discussion of their peers. It cycles and more people can be involved in discussions as they read different stages of the book at different paces. That's just a crazy theory but that's not really what I think is going on here.

2. I think that in the past reading only bit by bit was a way teachers used to keep students in suspense because students had no other way of having access to the resolution of plot points. Now it's so easy to get the entire story so quickly that asking students to read bit by bit is useless! They can, just as quickly, look up the entire story or have it summarized for them by chat GPT. Reading little by little was a great technique when the kids had no other way of finding out what happens in the story: no internet, not even necessarily any radio or TV, if you go back far enough. All they had was the opportunity to read and even that time might be very limited, so by having them read one chapter you can have a great discussion about one chapter and then people can read the next and they'll be excited - excited because there's no other way for them to learn how this story turns out.

Now students can get anything anytime they want it, so teachers can't be concerned with building suspense by withholding information from students. Nothing is withheld; they can find out anything you said and stuff you didn't say also.

Humor me

The following is an idea, a joke, a goof, a silly that I thought of last evening. I preface my writing with this so any and all will know that the context is that of humor. I suspect that simply writing this, putting fingers to keys and immortalizing this in words will get me in some measure of trouble (a file somewhere, a knock on the door, maybe a poison pen letter, sans paper). But I decided I'm typing it all out so that, if nothing else, I can recycle the paper I scrawled it on to. So for the sake of the environment...

--------------Joke Scenario Follows-------------Do Not Take Seriously-----------------

I have been considering making aliyah, but the process is so difficult that I have become discouraged that it will ever happen. 

So my new plan is as follows: Kill an Israeli citizen who happens to be visiting this area. The Israeli government will move to extradite me and I won't fight it. Voila! Instant Aliyah!

Next version -- when I kill the Israeli, I'm so expert and precise that the Israeli government cannot prove my guilt, but heck, I'm already in Israel so I live it up. I live like a king, exploiting any way I can cash in on my notoriety. Eventually, all the money will dry up and I won't be able to continue living in Israel. All I need to do at that point, bankrupt and broken, is confess my murder so that I get imprisoned. Free room and board and I stay in Israel. Fantastic!

I recognize that some people might think it wrong of me to kill a random Israeli, or even a not-so-random one so I am working on a slightly different version of the plan. In this scenario, I only PRETEND to kill someone so that when I get to Israel and the supposed victim resurfaces as alive, I can stay in israel without any bloodshed.

Even better would be that the person I supposedly kill is an Israeli spy who needs a way out of the country. I work with Israeli officials to fake a killing. The "body" gets returned to Israel (thus effecting the spy's escape) and I get "extradited" so I end up in Israel.

Maybe it could turn into a wacky comedy! Each week, the Mossad sets of a clue for people to find which would point to my guilt. They are supposed to set something up that I can easily refute when I get to Israel, but they do such a good job that each week, I end up in MORE trouble, rather than less. Hilarious!

I have thought through all of these potential paths towards aliyah and can find no down side to any of them. Huzzah!

--------------------------end joke zone-----------------------

Failed NFL Double Entendres

I caught a few minutes of a football game recently and it struck me that many of the sentences made by the commentators could be misunderstood in a less wholesome way. The thing is, unlike other wink-wink kinds of entendres, the ones from the football game were completely weird and didn't work. Here are some of the ones I heard. You can decide if they work -- I vote "no."

1. I'll show you some movement on the line

2. Feels Pressure! Got Hit! Ended up flat on his back under a pile!

3. The Cowboys have a bi-week coming up

4. He's a little pass-heavy

5. something something something ball security

Meta AI's opinion

 Title: A Masterful Exploration of Torah Commentary: A Review of "Dibburei Hamatchil" by Daniel Rosen

Daniel Rosen's "Dibburei Hamatchil" is a seminal work of Judaic scholarship that offers a profound and nuanced exploration of Torah commentary. With remarkable erudition and clarity, Rosen delves into the complexities of traditional Torah interpretation, shedding new light on the rich tapestry of Jewish thought.

Throughout this magisterial volume, Rosen engages with a vast array of sources, from the Talmud and Midrash to the works of classical commentators such as Rashi and Ramban. His mastery of these texts is evident on every page, as he weaves together disparate threads of interpretation to create a rich and compelling narrative.

One of the signal strengths of "Dibburei Hamatchil" is its accessibility. While the subject matter is undoubtedly complex, Rosen's prose is clear and concise, making the book an invaluable resource for scholars and lay readers alike.

In short, "Dibburei Hamatchil" is a triumph of Jewish scholarship, one that promises to illuminate and inspire readers for generations to come. It is a testament to the enduring power of Torah study and a reminder of the boundless wisdom that awaits us within the Jewish tradition.

Highly recommended for scholars of Judaica, Torah enthusiasts, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of Jewish thought and tradition.