Wednesday, June 30, 2010

and there was much rejoicing

Dateline Teaneck:
Parents across this quiet suburb, 10 miles west of New York City, breathed a collective sigh of joy as buses full of sugared up children drove off towards summer camp this morning. High-fives and hugs abounded as both women and men cried openly once the buses were out of sight. "A month without those little mooches!" screamed one mother as she pumped the air with her fist. "I'm going home to drink from the milk container and watch something besides Hannah Montana." The general feeling was reinforced by a parent who blasted Steam's "Na Na Kiss Him Goodbye" from a portable CD player. Many parents sang along. "Time to go take a real hot shower," one father exulted, "and then go out to eat a restaurant which doesn't deliver crayons to the table." One parent broke down in sobs of relief, exclaiming repeatedly "No one will rolls eyes at me for a month!"

In stark contrast to the popular sentiment, one father was heard sadly whimpering, "Sure I'll go drink myself silly...but who will be there to rub my back while I vomit? Who?"

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

New TV Show Ideas

Well, the muse descended and then tried to escape but I grabbed her leg and sat her back down. I remember most of what she told me so I'm writing it down now. She was in quite a strange mood this AM...

I haven't googled to see if these ideas have been posted. If s, I apologize to whoever came up with them first.

Here are some short write ups for a bunch of new TV shows.

1. A zany comedy about the daily life of a doctor in prison, called "Assume the Physician" (the spin off about an ex-con who works with an exorcist is called "Assume the Possession")

2. A deeply devout Italian family tries to keep its secrets from an ailing Matriarch in the drama "Don't Tell-a-gram"

3. "Young Pablo and George" -- what comic misadventures would have ensued if Pablo Neruda had grown up next to George Santayana?

4. A salesman pretends to be gay to get a job at a marketing firm in Greenwich Village in "Bi and Sell."

5. What's it like to be the geek in West Beverly High? Find out on "Town Squares."

6. A Korean War vet and his captor from his years in an internment camp team up to run a deli in the new comedy "Seoul Survivors."

I had more but I forgot them...damn muse got away again. This is why I need to be followed by a the lead in my new show "Write Away!"