and there was much rejoicing

Dateline Teaneck:
Parents across this quiet suburb, 10 miles west of New York City, breathed a collective sigh of joy as buses full of sugared up children drove off towards summer camp this morning. High-fives and hugs abounded as both women and men cried openly once the buses were out of sight. "A month without those little mooches!" screamed one mother as she pumped the air with her fist. "I'm going home to drink from the milk container and watch something besides Hannah Montana." The general feeling was reinforced by a parent who blasted Steam's "Na Na Kiss Him Goodbye" from a portable CD player. Many parents sang along. "Time to go take a real hot shower," one father exulted, "and then go out to eat a restaurant which doesn't deliver crayons to the table." One parent broke down in sobs of relief, exclaiming repeatedly "No one will rolls eyes at me for a month!"

In stark contrast to the popular sentiment, one father was heard sadly whimpering, "Sure I'll go drink myself silly...but who will be there to rub my back while I vomit? Who?"