Missed Opportunities

For those of you keeping score, you can file this on under "moderately serious" (and stop reading now if you are looking for goofiness. I intend to be intentionally unfunny. As opposed to...oh hell, you finish the joke; I'm trying to be good).

I have been wondering if I have missed any opportunities in my life. As with most other contemporary opportunities for self reflection, this comes about because of Facebook. I look at people I knew and that triggers memories and I wonder about the Road Not Taken (not the misinterpreted "unpopular choice" version, but the more accurate "choices you can;t take back" version). Have I missed any opportunities in life, or made choices which I wish I could have made differently? How would my life have been different.

I am not talking about made choices I have made. Sure, if I could have stopped myself, I wouldn't have hit that woman with that Frisbee, or gotten that speeding ticket or any number of other stupid moves I have made. But I'm talking about when I had a choice and made it to go one way or the other. Did I miss something by not choosing otherwise?

Example -- I chose to go to a particular grad school when I had a choice of 3 others. Did I miss an opportunity? No. The other schools simply didn't have what I was looking for, so that's a bad example. I don't know why your brought it up.

Better example -- should I have pursued a particular career without going to grad school? I had the opportunity to continue to struggle fiscally but get my foot in the door professionally if I skipped grad school. Did I miss out on a potentially life changing decision? Maybe. My life would be different had I succeeded at that point but that success was by no means guaranteed, and going after that might have foreclosed something else which ended up being rewarding.

Do I wish I had the guts to approach a particular pretty girls 25 years ago? Do I wonder what would have happened had I gone to a different high school, or joined a different club, or took a different class in college or grabbed some brass ring along the way?

On one hand (and be prepared, I think I may have 3 or more hands here) the answer is "sure" - I would love to have seen what I could accomplish if I tried something else or, effectively, was a different person.

On the other hand, "nope" -- I am pretty OK with who and where I am in life. Worrying about how things could have been different is a fool's errand. And I'm nobody's fool.

On the third hand, "who knows" -- the fact is, my decisions have been pretty premeditated and I am who I am because I made choices based in balanced reasoning. I don't think I could have made any different choices along the way.

On the fourth hand (I wasn't expecting 4, but during the writing experience, stuff happens), "what choices?" -- I haven't really been faced with monumental choices that could have been altered. There hasn't been some brass ring that I turned my back on.

So I leave you with all my hands intact, and will continue being whoever it is I am. If you see me, wave.