Sunday, December 4, 2011


I went to the gym today. The gym is a place where out of shape people can go to itemize and remind themselves which parts of their body hurt most so they can make arrangements for replacement parts well in advance.

While I was there I went on to an elliptical machine. The machine was not elliptical but I guess that had I been holding a magic marker, I would have been drawing ellipses all over while using it. Unlike a treadmill (Latin for "you could just walk outside"), when you hit "start" the machine doesn't just start moving. So you have to provide the power instead of simply trying to keep up. As that is the case, while the machine is plugged in, it isn't using electricity to create motion. When I do the exercise, I'm burning all the calories. So how come the machine isn't attached in such a way that it can convert the energy I expend into energy that can replenish the grid? Why isn't my effort defraying my membership? Can't I bank the watts I generate?

This is why I shouldn't go to the gym. Well, that and the aches.

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