Insomnia Chanted Evening

Insomnia means something very special to me. Actually, after not sleeping all night, nothing means anything to me anymore. My sense, dulled to a sharp point and my understanding of complex math gone, the world promises to be a bright blur following an extended dark blur today. But insomnia means never having to watch TV shows in prime time.

When I finally gave up trying to sleep, and finished shaving (3:48 hack)I went to watch television. None of the 3 movies I have any interest in fast forwarding through has come to on-demand yet so I started scrolling through the regular shows. I found 2 shows I hadn't watched but about which I had heard claims of existence. I dove in.

First up was Animal Practice. In a nutshell, the plot involves a guy who doctors animals. How crazy is that? I mean, animals. Really. He's like House but with not-people. They could have called him "Zoo." The show was actually very funny. I especially liked the fact that he's a sociopath but is very good at being a sociopath. Role models are important. The writing was crisp and slightly burnt at the edges. In the end, he had a heart but I'm hopeful that the heart will be fired when they retool the show for the second season.

Then I watched 2 episodes of Mr. Matthew Perry's new sitcom, "Go On." I held back the vomit every time I thought about the show's name, but it was also really amusing. It is about a guy whose wife died so it is a comedy. The second episode already felt tired at spots and I foresee a pattern of "he tries to do things his way and things get worse so in the end he gains a little respect for the group leader." I found that same pattern in the Star Wars movies except with more limbs.

I realized something -- what makes a show really good is not having to care about characters over extended story arcs. I don't want to delve into their crises and see how they deal with challenges. I want the wittiness of superficial knowledge during character establishment. I believe that the greatest season in television history would be one in which one network did nothing but run failed (or untested) pilots, week after week. New characters, new zany plots. And at the end, the audience could phone in and vote on which one should be produced, and then, pizza for everyone.

Yes, this is my plan. I can't wait for this dream to be over.