Wednesday, January 29, 2014

On behalf of all someones

A quick thought for a late Wednesday afternoon.

I was reading through my spam emails today. I do that because I live in constant fear that, buried in the solicitations for manhood pills (I need to take a pill to watch football and have gas? I had no idea) and promises to help me quit smoking while learning French, there will be an earnest and real attempt to deliver to me seventeen (17) squintillion dollars. I don't want to miss that chance. So, going through the emails, I saw a subject line as follows:

This is the video that Women don't you to see.

I deleted it immediately, purely out of respect for the wishes of all women, everywhere. You're welcome.

But I started wondering -- who asked all the women? Do you women have some sort of meeting where you vote on these things? Is there a mailable proxy? Is that why you go to the bathroom in groups? Do you all know me well enough to know how I would respond to said video? Can you ladies give me a hint as to what was on it? And if you are so powerful and have formed such consensus, can you put out some sort of manifesto so I understand how I can stop having so many of you mad at me all the time?

Men don't really agree on anything too difficult. Sammiches are good. If it requires thought or any effort, most men don't worry about agreeing or not. We just change the channel. You know the 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed? Women. You know how I know? They have an opinion about gum. The fifth actually just said "do whatever you want." And then she got mad at the guy for having the gum.

And then I wondered if this video and the email were an entree into the works of Freud. Finally, we know what woman wants. She wants me not to watch that video. So please, ladies, send more spam so I can direct my actions appropriately.

1 comment:

Feel free to comment and understand that no matter what you type, I still think you are a robot.