My Offer to Hollywood

I have, in the past, offered my services to Hollywood as a Jew. I have stated that I am willing to play the part of a Jew in any production where there exists such a need. I come with all sorts of experience at being a Jew and can play the part of a balding, overweight, middle aged Jew very well.

I have also (I believe) railed against the practice in Hollywood of using non-Israelis/Jews to play the parts of Israelis and Jews. It seems to me that if the Jews control Hollywood, there should be some real ones wandering around, ready for their close up, Mr. DeMille.

But today, I make another offer. I know that there are people out in Hollywood who operate as "script doctors." They can punch up the writing, tweak the flow and make a so-so script into a marginally better script. That's just peachy, but isn't what I offer. I am willing to be a "script rabbi." Too often, I see movies and shows in which Jews and Judaism are just so poorly presented. So here's the deal. If, in the course of your script or production, you have need to present something related to Judaism, call me. Let me look things over and tell you whether your presentation bears any resemblance to actual Judaism. I'm no ogre -- I will give you your options and explain the Jewish spectrum so you know what should be going on in the building no matter if it is a shul, synagogue or temple.

Do you want your scene with the Sabbath services to look authentic? Do you want those people in the know to respect that you made the Jews look and act like Jews? I can help. I have many years of experience explaining Judaism to people and helping others see it as a normal mode of behavior. I can clear up all sorts of confusion, coach actors, rewrite dialogue so it doesn't make every Jew look like a caricature of a lampoon.

So here I am, your Script Rabbi, just waiting for all of you to come on over and finally, get it right.