Hello and thank you for taking my online quiz, "Do you have a sense of Humor," number 17 in my series of online self assessments. By now, you should have taken such quizzes as "Do I know where both my legs are?" and "Am I on the internet" so you should consider yourself a power user. Congrats!
Note, this assessment is different from my self-check work entitled "Am I funny?" If you recall, that assessment went as follows:
Step one: check name
Step Two: Compare name with "Dan Rosen"
Step Three: Check result -- if your name is Dan Rosen then, "Yes" you are funny. If not, then no. You aren't funny.
If you received the answer of "No" but are still unsure as to whether you are funny, then there was also step Three-A:
Step Three A: Ask Dan Rosen if you are funny.
Note that step Three-A requires the additional correspondence fee of $3.95 per request, plus applicable state and local taxes and shipping and handling fees. And the answer is probably still "No."
This assessment is designed to test whether you have the kind of sense of humor which allows you to appreciate what those of us with a sense of humor call "jokes" and see if they are what we call, "funny." Please read directions and move through the steps at a comfortable pace.
Step 1: Find a piece of stand-up comedy which you think is funny.
Step 2: Replace a noun in the line (not a pronoun) with the words "battery acid."
Step 3: Repeat the line.
Results: If you still laugh at the revised version, you do not have a sense of humor and you are possibly a psychopath or a non-English speaker, or both (to be sure, please take our popular self-assessment #6, "Am I a Psychopath or a non-English speaker, or both?")
Example: I will take Steven Wright's classic line (used without any discernable permission, but until I hear otherwise...) "I poured spot remover on my dog and now he's gone."
I will replace "spot remover" with "battery acid." I am left with, "I poured battery acid on my dog and now he's gone." I do not find that funny. Ergo, I have a sense of humor.
Note, if you attempted to replace the other noun in the joke and have "I poured spot remover on my battery acid and now he's gone" then you have successfully completed self-assessment #14, "Am I an idiot?" Please send me $45.
If you replaced the pronoun then you are illiterate. I said "not a pronoun."
The supplement to this assessment allows you to see the type of sense of humor you have. Assessment 17-x.
Step one: Click on "Ask me what I think of you."
Step two: When you hear the answer "you are a jerk" gauge your reaction.
Condition One: If you are angry, you have no sense of humor
Condition Two: If you are not angry, you might have a sense of humor, you jerk.
If you wish to ask me for clarification, click on "Are you serious?"
Assess your feelings based on the answer "No, I am kidding."
If you smile, you have a well-formed sense of humor. If you think "Well, that still wasn't very nice." Then you have a poor sense of humor.
Thank you for your participation and I hope you have a better understanding of your own potential sense of humor.
My next assessment will be released next week, entitled, "Is that a dagger I see before me?"