No Thanks

I don't like celebrating birthdays. I don't know if I have mentioned it, but I think birthdays should not be remarked upon. As I wrote in that other post, the same holds true for other days of commemoration -- it is offensive to me that we need the reminder to thank our parents or our veterans, and the fact that people feel heartened by our setting aside this special time simply highlights our sorry state. Thanksgiving is no exception.

"Hey look," you say, "I want to make a list of all the things I am grateful for."

"Nice work," I respond, "but why didn't you make that list yesterday? Was something stopping you? Do you need a reminder? Thanksgiving is on the calendar every year so while you are counting days until your colonoscopy, you can pass through November, see that such a day exists, and maybe look up and take a moment to be appreciative on a random Tuesday in April."

I try to remind students that Jewish prayer includes an element of thanks in each of the day's central prayers. They respond, "sure, but that thank you is thanking God for all he has done."

"True," I explain, "but once you are in the habit of thanking, who stops you from expanding upon that once you are having a conversation with a person and not with God?" Jewish law has a notion of "hakarat hatov", recognizing the good that another has done. That's an every day thing, regardless of the presence of football, turkey or political arguments amidst too much Pabst Blue Ribbon.

That all being said, I do see the good in the day because we clearly, as a nation, have sunk to a level of depravity that, were it not for this one day, would not include a simple appreciation for the world around us. If we didn't have Arbor Day we would never say thank you to a tree. Without Grandparents' Day, we would drop the kids off and run to Olive Garden without even a mumbled "thanx." So I do take some time to stop and smell the Rosens today, and make a phone call, send an email, or just construct a mental list of those people, places, things and experiences which formed me and turned me into the sour, bitter, sometimes sweet and even occasionally salty but never umami dish of cynicism that I am.

And tomorrow, I'll do it again.

So for the record, I have two great siblings who have magically delicious families and an extended family who make me feel like family. I have a wife who embodies the 3 B's -- beautiful, brilliant and benevolent, and 2 kids who make me proud daily. I live in a community of strong and driven people whose warmth carries me week to week. I have a great job at a school which is top of a pretty impressive heap. Solid house in the suburbs, a dog who has yet to kill me, and food on the table. I was raised by parents who taught me to do more right than wrong and celebrate who I am all the time. I live in a time of miraculous technology and deepening understanding of the world. Heritage, and opportunity, culture, high and low. A car in every pot hole and a chicken in the garage fridge. We got this. And if I forget these gifts tomorrow, next week or next month, o reality, then I don't deserve any of it.