The four Sons

 Yes, the following will be sexist in that it plays into stereotypes (and sad truths) about the household, but I feel that it is honest and responsible to its source material and the cultural norms of the time in which it was written.

I believe that there is a different way of understanding the discussion of the four sons in the Haggadah. We read this on Passover and myriad commentators have tried to look at the spiritual and esoteric possibilities but I shall now advance a more straightforward reading:

It was the day before the Passover. The mother was hard at work, scrubbing, moving, checking, and cleaning. It was difficult work but she was not alone. She had her daughters with her and all were slaving away.

In walks child #1 -- he is respectful and curious. Not so great around the house, but he will make a great lawyer. Or maybe a doctor. That's OK too.

He approaches his mother and asks "What are all the laws that are guiding you in all of this work?" The mother smiles sweetly and says "the laws of Passover, dear. Now hush or I won't have time to make you dessert."

The second son walks in. He could care less about anyone but himself and looks down (literally and figuratively) on his mother and sisters in their cleaning. He asks "What's the point of your doing all of this?" 'Your" not "our" -- he wants no part of the cleaning. His mother says "Zip it, kiddo -- I cleaned your room so I know where you stash your girlie magazines. You are just lucky that your father hasn't found out yet, or else nothing would save you."

In comes the next child, the quiet contemplative one. He is so wrapped up in thought that he almost stumbles over his sister who is on her hands and knees washing the dirt floor so the dirt will be K for P. "Watcha doing?" he asks. The mom comes over and says "We are using our elbow grease to clean up. Big changes like getting ready for Passover need hard work, from everyone, including you, me, and even God."

Meanwhile another child has been standing in the corner, totally confused. He has been watching the women in amazement and has heard everything his mother has said. He is at a complete loss. He still doesn't know the rules that mom sent son #1 to study. He wants to be involved so his mom won't go through his drawers, like the second son. But he has been watching so asking "what are you doing" like his brother did seems a dumb idea. So he just stands there. His mother notices. She comes over and whispers "I'll tell you a secret, one that mothers teach their sons: I'm doing this for all of you because I love you. If you help, you can show me how much that means to you."

That last child picks up a rag and starts wiping. Yes, he does a poor job of it and, after he leaves, his mom has to undo and redo everything he "helped" with, but he has developed the right attitude about helping and that will help in the future.