I need to vent

 It wasn't a bad day, as days go. And they go. But it had a couple of low points that I need to put into words and set free.

I assigned my 10th grade to read a fairly straightforward story from the 1960's. I have used it for years and it leads to a good discussion and class activity. This year, they wanted me to read it to them. It was too long, too difficult, too everything. They. Just. Couldn't. This is frustrating -- they wanted to know "why are we reading it" and "do you want us to write anything?" They spent more time asking me "why" than actually simply reading. Some found a way to get their phones to "read" the text out loud so the room was full of robotic voices and students not really listening to them. One said, after listening for a while, "I am so confused." I said "That's because you are listening and you need to read." She said "That's really true." And she went back to listening. 

In another class, I posted a writing prompt on the board and then started discussing it with the class. A student asked if I had written down what I was discussing so I could post it online. I said "but you're right here and can listen and take notes." She was annoyed (11th grade Honors class).

Back to my 10th grades -- the first 2 sections settled down and many did the reading. They were done quickly, even while (gasp) looking up words they did not know. We had good conversations. The third class simply would not settle down. I finally spoke to them sternly and they all shut up. Not 10 seconds later, another teacher walked in to give out candy, destroying my last chance at getting this group to do the work. The last class could sense I was annoyed and they did the reading sans complaints (for the most part).

I gave back lots of papers to my 12th graders -- papers that I spent hours on. Everyone seemed pretty contented with the grades except for one girl who wanted to argue about a word she chose. I decided to stonewall her. The argument wasn't actually because she believed that she used the right word and I was wrong, but that she was judging my corrections, and trying to find one she could argue so that she could get back points. It wasn't about knowledge, but haggling because she didn't like the grade she got. So this 17 year old is telling me that she can "give me" the 5 other corrections but not this one. So thankful that a 17 year old approves of my grading 5 times out of 6. Clearly, without that validation, my expertise would be in question. I really tried not to lose my temper. I tried not to be too offended, but I really find this insulting. If I start letting students dictate what is right, wrong, or worth how many points (you only circled 6 things -- how is that ___ points), then I might as well have them grade their own papers.

I rush home because I had therapy scheduled for this evening. I'm not in the mood for therapy. I just made a pan of brownies and I'm in the mood to sit in front of a television and eat it. TV doesn't even have to be on. But I got myself by the computer and watched the clock. 5PM came so I joined the zoom. And nothing happened. I waited. At 5:20 I was kicked out of the zoom.

My therapist emailed saying that she was told that I called in to the office and said I don't need therapy anymore. She was told I cancelled tonight's session. All untrue.

Good lord but I need therapy. Who said otherwise? Not me. Anyway, now I have to reschedule, and the brownies are still uneaten.