I'm putting together a list of things one should NOT say to a police officer when he pulls you over on a DWI charge. On a previous blog, I recall listing one ("I'm only drinking because it helps me get over my fear of driving") but a few others have popped into my head. I apologize if anyone thinks these are in bad taste, and I am not advocating drinking and driving. I am advocating humor, though.
1. Alcohol? Does that mean the drugs aren't a problem?
2. I'm not drunk -- you're just ugly.
3. But officer, when I got into the car, I was simply Driving Before Intoxicated.
4. I was just trying to empty these containers to I could recycle them.
5. It's OK. I'm on my way to a AA meeting.
6. Hey Harry -- there's a guy next to me wearing a cop uniform. Is this a gay bar?
7. I can't even walk a striaght line when I'm sober.
8. Why would you want me to touch my nose?
9. The alphabet? Sure. Does it have to be in order?
10. The bottle said not to operate heavy machinery. Does this car look like heavy machinery?