Friday, November 6, 2009

Episode IV: A new Initiative

Dan Rosen's Other Blog (DROB nyse) is proud to announce the beginning of a new intiative designed to level the internet playing field and protect those web's underclass.

In a move that will take the have nots and turn them squarely into haves, we have begun "The Status Project," a service which will provide Facebook Status updates to those who, right now, lack the intelligence, wittiness, or interesting lives necessary to post a truly original and captivating status. Qualified users will receive two statuses, daily, one as a wry comment on life and one as a factual recap of the day's events which reflects that that person's is, statisitcally, in the top 10% of "Interesting Lives" as measured by the "Like Button" scale, the accepted standard measure of how fascinating a person is.

No longer will Face Book be saddled with users who simply can't find the time or brain cells to post status updates or who post such comments as "I like puce" or "for dinner we are having food" or "the Yankees win."

For the price of a cup of coffee a day, users will be able to buy that coffee and even drink it. Caution. Contents hot.

Additionally, the Status Project will be partnering with a sister site "The Tweet Project" which will help candidates present timely and informative Tweets across Twitter. But, recognizing the unique nature of Twitter, we will be paying careful attention and helping users deal with such challenges as "Tweet tooth" (defined as posting more than 4 tweets in any 27 minute period) and "Addiction to Hash(marks)" -- a user whose Tweets rely too heavily on references to other people and threads.

More partnerships are expected as we continue to identify anti-social network tendencies and work together to combat their debilitating effects. Please be inspired to donate your unused status updates so that others can become meaningful members of the Face Book family.

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