I am immortal except for the dying

I was at another of my favorite activities -- a memorial service. I went to pay respects to a woman who lived on the block where I grew up. Nice lady. She had a well maintained garden and had a cool accent (two things which I cannot contribute to anyone's childhood memories). One thing which was stressed time and time again (note: 2 times) was her achieving immortality through the memories others carry of her. So I wish to write this to those people who show up to my scheduled memorial service. I am assuming that the service will be on a Sunday much like today, except in the year 2179. If I am not dead by then, have the service without me. I'm probably off having fun somewhere else.

Dear all future people (that's how people talk in the future...with an uncanny awareness of themselves as the future incarnations of all the people in the past's imagination...heady time, the future),

Thank you all for coming to pay tribute to me. I hope that in my time on earth (and other affiliated planets) I had an effect on your life that allowed you to formulate a positive impression of me. And if I gave you a hair sample, please clone me so that I can see the release of Windows 192 SP3.

I would like to think that you have all kept those memories of me, the moments we shared and the good deeds which I hoped to have accomplished in your (memories/hard drives/memory chips/optical crystals/brain implantables/virtual nodes/inter-dimensional nexi) and will be able to relive our time together over and over, or at least over. I hope that through my teaching, my humor and my saving our solar system countless times, I have given you stories to share with your own children and now-talking-dogs. So, please don't wait to help me achieve the immortality that our best scientists were unwilling to sell to me. Post to whatever is our future version of the internet (possibly, the internet) now, even as my still handsome body lies here in Repose, Iowa (where I chose to make my summer home because of its view of the beach...remember the time that everything west of Iowa was teleported to somewhere else for the sake of this anecdote? Yeah, that was AWESOME!). Make sure that for the foreseeable future (I assume that now in the 2179, we can all foresee the future) the world knows that I was here and I tried make a difference. And a sum. And a total. And a dividend (HA! dead in 2179 and I still got it!).

Try the space ice cream and don't forget to tip your cow-waiters.

Yours futurely,
Dan