Education Time

 New school year, new education thoughts. If you aren't into overthinking school, move along.

A major question we, as educators, ask is "why are we teaching what teach?" The answer of ten has to do with the content -- I teach algebra because I think either that algebra is inherently useful, or algebra requires skills and the skills are useful. Either reason works. I cover book X because the content is necessary (either for historical/cultural literacy reasons or because the lesson is relevant) and/or because there is something in the literary method that is worth covering, and/or because the skill of reading anything and analyzing it via any lens, in any way is an exportable skill.

But then we have to decide how to assess mastery (or at least competence) in each area. Tests, projects, homeworks, quizzes and what have you have been the traditional modes. Some are more recent innovations, and, yes, they serve the purpose of formative and summative. All the buzz words are here and that's just great. But I will posit that there is another, no less important aspect to these assessments that is being poorly served in the light of some recent changes in test administration.

I believe that students need to learn to manage the clock. I firmly believe that timed assessments are important because the skill of being able to think under pressure is a necessary life skill. By removing time constraints, or markedly reducing them (turning an in-class essay into take-home work due in 24 hours instead of 42 minutes) we might be giving students more time to mull over answers but we teach them that they can have all that time and there is no value in making an on-the-spot decision.

Now it is true that we have had "extra-time" provisions for students who process differently. These students, by dint of an IEP or ISP (or a local intervention) have been given 50% (or 100%) extra time because that was designed to put them on par with other students. This was about fairness. I'm not saying I fully get it, but that's ok -- extra time was reserved for those who truly needed that time in order to be considered on the same level as others. An accommodation to different cognitve skills is no sin. And yes, there are even students who get "unlimited" time. Again, I'm not saying I really get it, but for these select few, processing is so different that they need to remove the pressure of time in order just to achieve parity.

To remove the element of time for all, though, or loosen the strictures so severely as to make the idea of "timed" irrelevant destroys the abilityt o assess this dimension of student performance. Thinking under pressure, performing while the clock ticks is a really important skill. I'm sitting in an office which operates by the clock. I work as a teacher, constantly aware of the clock. The real world has time constraints and deadlines. Leave the cozy confines of the school and suddenly, work has to be done by a certain time, decisions have to be made on a strict schedule, thinking has to be done under the pressures of time. This is a reality. While COVID has reduced their sway, there are still standardized tests with timed essays. Will it happen in college? It did when I was in college -- I had essay finals that had a limit on them. Does that mean it still happens? It is a shame if it doesn't, because as soon as students decide to apply for grad school, tests reappear. Then, life and life is just chock full of timed conditions. Fight or flight -- make a decision now because the threat won't wait.

So I see this as an extra but also essential part of education. Let a student know the book. Let him know how to read any book. But also, let him know how to come up with an answer and a persuasive argument and think on his feet. We don't teach it explicitly, but we demand that it is an acquired skill that ensures survival.

Thoughts while driving

 

I am just writing these down to clear the cache that is my brain. These dawned on me after my doctor's appointment this morning and while I was driving.

1. Why do we need credit cards? A credit card is a piece of plastic that connects us to an account somewhere else. It is basically an ID card confirming that the holder approves with the idea of taking money from the account. The card, itself, is meaningless. It just attests to the identity of the holder. But so do fingerprints. Why not replace credit card swipe machines with fingerprint readers? Would this mean I can't "lend" my card to anyone? Yes. Exactly. And, make a failsafe system by having the database catalogue more than just one finger of mine, so if I lose a finger, another can be used to transact business. One can even be set as a "duress" finger. If i use that one, the authorities are notified that I am being forced to make the transaction.

2. I feel bad for the Yankees. I heard an ad on the radio celebrating the 2000 championship team. Thing is, there are so many championship teams, that a singular player doesn't really get any attention. If you want to pay homage to the players who won championships, there are just too many. Now, as a Mets fan, I can distinguish between the championship teams because the Mets were sensitive enough to win championships sparingly and spread apart in years. LGM! Just not too soon.

The Speech

 This is what I delivered at the wedding of my elder to the boy. I did make one slight change in this version but the rest is as is.

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First the thank you’s – to the Silvermans, a hearty thank you for their son (and brother). Elijah is a lovely young man so we appreciate all your hard work in helping him become that. To Julie, who helped take care of the millions of details with care and genius, thank you and I love you; to the venue and the various people behind the scenes who have taken Maddie and Elijah’s vision and turned it into a reality, thanks, and to all the celebrities who made time in their schedules to be with us today, many thanks. To Sparky and Princess who could not be here because, you know, squirrel, thanks for being the unofficial best boi and best girl, ever. And to all of you for coming out and sharing this afternoon and evening with us. Thank you.

I’m not going to be delivering a dvar torah but I thought I should mention that this past week was my bar mitzvah parsha. So that’s neat.

I’m also not going to be giving a list of useful pieces of advice. I have posted those online. Kids: summer reading.

A father starts writing a speech for his daughter's wedding approximately 4 and a half minutes after she is born and most drafts are 50 percent about how perfect a girl she is and 50 percent threats and warnings aimed at the monster who is taking her away.

I have written this and other versions at least 200 times and in a couple of recent attempts, Elijah comes off looking OK.

Progress.

But for someone who has written so many speeches for this day, it is embarrassing to admit that I just don't know what to say. So instead of standing here awkwardly waiting for my allotted 2 minutes to expire so the band can play me off, I'd like to tell you a story.

It is a story about a princess, a girl who stole my heart when I didn’t even know I had one. A girl who gave me a run for my money. She needed only to walk because I’m really out of shape and wasn’t going to catch her.

It is a story about a prince. Actually, and to be accurate, it is a story abOOt a prince. A prince who is a cleaner to the princess’s cook and who brings more to the table than just Indian food. A prince with a love of the world, of his homeland and a love for the princess. And you can’t ask for more than that.

This prince and princess come from a long line of royalty, some who are here tonight, some who couldn’t be here and some who have left us with just their memory and heritage. TO all of them, we say “thank you for being you so that we can be who we are and the prince and princess can carry our proud family names into the future.”

This story is full of laughs, some stress and a whole lot of love. It is a story which reads like a roller coaster only with a shorter line and, we hope, a little less screaming. It is a story of two people who share so much and have just enough difference to keep things interesting. There are deep conversations, scenic quests and laser battles in space.

There are arguments and reconciliations, new friends and old acquaintances. There is home and away. It is a story about life, a life that stretches far off into the future and which has its root way back in the past.

And, of course, the story teaches us a lesson. That lesson changes from person to person and moment to moment. I learned “don’t judge a book by its cover” because one time, Elijah brought a book to the house and I judged it by its cover and I was very wrong. You might learn something different.

Anyway, I’m just a dad, standing in front of a newly married and deliriously happy couple wishing them the kind of life that they deserve – one of adventures and happiness, of sasson and simcha, loving and learning, and soup AND salad.

I don’t know the end of the story but I do know that I am excited to be here at the beginning and I’m looking forward to reading it as it unfolds.

Gorgeous Speeches

 ORIGINAL INTRO FROM MONTHS AGO:

"Time for another attempt at a wedding speech. Kid number 1 has just announced that the boy popped the question and that she said "yes" so I have to start assembling wits of wordsdom, and that takes time. Also, as they are considering getting married in Israel, I'm going to have to write a speech and then get it translated, then learn Hebrew so that I can read it well enough to know how bad a translation it is."

7 MONTHS LATER -- the location has changed and all my attempts at speechifying have failed. I warned the young people that, at the event, I would take up a minute or so of nothing in particular, and would save my brilliant haranguing for the internet, so I'm just using this as a space to collect pearls of swine to cast before the youth. The title is a reference to the phrase "Georgia Peaches" as used in the song "Call Me the Breeze" by Lynyrd Skynyrd (written by J.J. Cale). It is unrelated to this blog post in any other way but I happen to like the song. Deal with it.

Step one -- collect the relevant pieces of advice. This is an ongoing process which I undertook over 25 years ago, so handing it, fully formed to the young people seems a tad unfair. But, hey, that's what dads do. This list was curated over the space of 6 months, reflecting on years of living life.

Step two -- type up the list and put it online. Ta da.

In no particular order

1. Don't hold a grudge. Let go of what you let go.

2. Check your ego at the door. You aren't always right.

3. Always assume that you significant other has the best of intentions and is putting you first.

4. Always have the best of intentions, and put your significant other first.

5. This isn't a dress rehearsal. You aren't practicing for when you really grow up and have a life. This is it. One take, continuous shot. Get it right.

6. Tell each other you love each other at least once a day. Never assume it is understood. It needs to be said, meant, and heard.

7. Laugh a lot with each other. Rarely, if ever, at each other. Know when it isn't the right time to laugh and act accordingly.

8. Money is awesome but having, keeping and using are rarely in the same sentence. Sometimes, make decisions that seem less fun now but will help towards future money-based happiness. Just because you have it doesn't mean you should spend it.

9. Learn to love where you are and what you have. If you are always looking at the horizon, you miss the cows on the side of the road. Trust me...that's a deep one.

10. Count your blessings and remember that one of them is knowing how to count.

11. Forgive before you are asked to and ask to be forgiven even when you are sure you are right.

12. Be best friends. It is the two of you against the world. And if/when you have kids, remember, they are only SOMETIMES on your team...

13. Acknowledge that you are wrong at least once a day. Odds are, you are wrong, on some level well more than that.

14. Know where the line is and don't cross it.

15. The newest technology can't take the place of a conversation between people who know each other and are paying attention to everything the other person says.

16. Know where your local library is, damnit. Go there sometimes just to be reminded of how wonderful it is and be surprised by all that you didn't know was there.

17. No one can read your mind. Don't expect that anyone can. Unless you marry Uri Geller and neither of you is marrying Uri Geller. If you happen to be marrying Uri Geller, contact me -- I have a totally other speech for that. Actually, don't contact Uri Geller. If he is as good as he supposedly is, he knows it already. Also, no riddles. No mysterious "come here" without an explanation. Yes, the other person should trust you that it is important, but it is easier just to speak than to expect blind obedience.

18. Be honest even (and especially) if it requires you to admit you are wrong.

19. Set an example.

20. Be stricter than you think you need to be with your kids; be more to the right and demand that they live up to a higher standard. They can loosen up when they get older.

21. In almost all cases, it is more important that something gets done than that it gets done the exact way you want it.

22. Be quick to ask forgiveness, but quicker to give it, even without being asked.

23. Always be nice. That's such an important bottom line. All these items, well, many of them, can be boiled down to "be nice".  Stop. Think about what you do, what you say and how you say it. If it isn't "nice" then you need to rethink your choices. You can joke and kid around, but when the rubber meets the road, you best be nice.

24. Even if you win the lottery, live frugally.

25. Do things because they need to be done. Do them right because there is no other way to be.

26. Look for solutions, not arguments and not blame.

27. Be self aware enough to know when you are changing and how.

28. Earn respect, pay respect. Pay attention. Pay compliments.

29. Don't take things too seriously, with the following exceptions: your spouse's feelings, finances, religious identity, disciplining a child, turn signals when driving.

30. Go out for ice cream together once a month at least.

31. You will both become different people over time. That's not a bad thing. Rediscover each other and fall in love with each other repeatedly. Make sure you constantly become someone worth falling in love with.

32. Never make a list of fewer than 33 items.