The Speech

 This is what I delivered at the wedding of my elder to the boy. I did make one slight change in this version but the rest is as is.

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First the thank you’s – to the Silvermans, a hearty thank you for their son (and brother). Elijah is a lovely young man so we appreciate all your hard work in helping him become that. To Julie, who helped take care of the millions of details with care and genius, thank you and I love you; to the venue and the various people behind the scenes who have taken Maddie and Elijah’s vision and turned it into a reality, thanks, and to all the celebrities who made time in their schedules to be with us today, many thanks. To Sparky and Princess who could not be here because, you know, squirrel, thanks for being the unofficial best boi and best girl, ever. And to all of you for coming out and sharing this afternoon and evening with us. Thank you.

I’m not going to be delivering a dvar torah but I thought I should mention that this past week was my bar mitzvah parsha. So that’s neat.

I’m also not going to be giving a list of useful pieces of advice. I have posted those online. Kids: summer reading.

A father starts writing a speech for his daughter's wedding approximately 4 and a half minutes after she is born and most drafts are 50 percent about how perfect a girl she is and 50 percent threats and warnings aimed at the monster who is taking her away.

I have written this and other versions at least 200 times and in a couple of recent attempts, Elijah comes off looking OK.

Progress.

But for someone who has written so many speeches for this day, it is embarrassing to admit that I just don't know what to say. So instead of standing here awkwardly waiting for my allotted 2 minutes to expire so the band can play me off, I'd like to tell you a story.

It is a story about a princess, a girl who stole my heart when I didn’t even know I had one. A girl who gave me a run for my money. She needed only to walk because I’m really out of shape and wasn’t going to catch her.

It is a story about a prince. Actually, and to be accurate, it is a story abOOt a prince. A prince who is a cleaner to the princess’s cook and who brings more to the table than just Indian food. A prince with a love of the world, of his homeland and a love for the princess. And you can’t ask for more than that.

This prince and princess come from a long line of royalty, some who are here tonight, some who couldn’t be here and some who have left us with just their memory and heritage. TO all of them, we say “thank you for being you so that we can be who we are and the prince and princess can carry our proud family names into the future.”

This story is full of laughs, some stress and a whole lot of love. It is a story which reads like a roller coaster only with a shorter line and, we hope, a little less screaming. It is a story of two people who share so much and have just enough difference to keep things interesting. There are deep conversations, scenic quests and laser battles in space.

There are arguments and reconciliations, new friends and old acquaintances. There is home and away. It is a story about life, a life that stretches far off into the future and which has its root way back in the past.

And, of course, the story teaches us a lesson. That lesson changes from person to person and moment to moment. I learned “don’t judge a book by its cover” because one time, Elijah brought a book to the house and I judged it by its cover and I was very wrong. You might learn something different.

Anyway, I’m just a dad, standing in front of a newly married and deliriously happy couple wishing them the kind of life that they deserve – one of adventures and happiness, of sasson and simcha, loving and learning, and soup AND salad.

I don’t know the end of the story but I do know that I am excited to be here at the beginning and I’m looking forward to reading it as it unfolds.