A Grave Diss Service

 I write the following to my sister not because anything in specific has to do with her but because she, by geographic virtue (and chronological vice?) is closest so these things will fall within her purview.

Dear Nomi,

You have done such a fine job setting up and taking care of mom and dad's graves so I have some ideas I wanted to pass by you. Please take care of these things at my convenience.

First, I noticed that at the cemetary, and at others, there is a lot of sunlight and in many graveyards, there aren't sublevels and overhangs, meaning even more sunlight. Can you please start selling solar panels that be affixed to graves so that the deceased can help us generate more electricity?

Next, I would like it if you could set up a Ring doorbell on mom and dad's gravestone. I would like to be able to watch and see who visits -- I suspect that when my kids say that they are going to visit the grave, they are actually at home, throwing a party. Also, it would be neat to speak to someone who comes to visit the grave. I might even throw that person for a loop! Maybe an Echo Dot or the equivalent would be good also. I am not sure how or why but I like saying "Echo Dot" because it means "echo law/religion" in Hebrew.

Can you arrange to attach a dry erase marker to the grave so people can write notes? You might have to install a dry erase board also. Get er done.

For my grave (which I shan't need for quite some time) I'd like to eschew the traditional mausoleum and just have some animatronics installed. 

Thanks,

Dan