I MUST have that recipe. No really. I MUST.

Another poor night's sleep, another major revelation. I think there is a connection but I'm not sure. Maybe I'll eat spicy food tonight and find out.

It seems to me that a major component to marketing is the reassurance of the common consumer that he is not crazy. It is as if someone sat with the draft copy of the DSM V (due out May 2013) and went through each condition, tying its symptoms to a product. The point is to reassure the consumere that when he has his delusions, he is not insane but actually just interested in spending his money. You think you hear your cereal talking to you? Good, buy some Rice Krispies. Do little people invade your house at night and bake? fine, buy some Keebler products. Are you being stalked by your own mop? Buy a Swiffer. My beer bottles have been coming to life and playing football. OK. Who's winning? Bud or Bud Light? Is your dog running around for no apparent reason? Don't worry...he sees the Chuck Wagon. he isn't crazy either. So when he tells you to burn it all down, better listen.

Even for objects like a car...doc, I have this urge to veer into oncoming traffic and crash head on into another car. Well then, perfectly normal. Just buy a Honda with new airbags. I can't stop chewing gum! No problem, just follow what 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend in that case and chew more of a certain brand. All of our body image obsessions are assuaged by ads telling us either to eat more or less. Kill someone? Airline tickets are on sale. Whatever mood we are in, we can be validated by a commercial. Name an addiction and I'll find a commercial which tells you that you are actually OK. List an obsession and I'll list products to make you feel normal.

Without ads we would realize just how mentally messed up we all are. It's a good thing we have advertising to save us from realizations of ourselves.

Buy me dat and buy me dys-function.