That smarts

I have been reevaluating my own intelligence recently - not in some objective way wherein I subject myself to a battery of tests and confirm that I know that if dog is to Winnebago then candy bar is to blasphemy, but against the populace.

My mom always told me that I was smart (and she was in mensa, so she knows smart). I appreciate how she pumped up my fragile ego and I have to agree that in certain contexts, I feel smart. I listen to morning radio shows and that reminds me that most people are really dumb. I watch reality shows and know that in reality, most people can't breathe without directions.

But, according to my calculations, I am only smarter than about 93% of the people. That is a non-scientific number based solely on my urge to convince myself that I am smarter than 93% of the people. This does not mean that I am 7% smarter than each person, but that a healthy chunk of the population of the world (est. 6 billion...7% of that is something in the 4.2 million range) is smarter than I am.

And, it seems, I surround myself with people who are smarter than I am. That's really nice because it means that the conversations buzzing around me will have to do with the liquidity of the market or the philosophical implications of a political shift to the right and not "what do you think this stuff in my ears is?" But it isn't so nice because it means that much of the time, I'll be at least 1 step behind.

Maybe this accounts for some of the underlying tension in my life. As a husband, I often don't do the right thing -- maybe that's because I'm not smart enough. At work, I seem to make mistakes (and note, I work in a High School because I like to assume that to most 16 year-olds, I still look smart) but maybe that's because I am not as smart as the others at work. Maybe I should try to put myself into an environment where I am the smartest. Where the 4.2 million people won't find me. I need to ask someone smarter where that place might be.