Climbing the Walls

Ahh Monday - you trickster of a day. You give us hope and you deliver us mixed messages about the rest fo the week. And we fall for it each time.

It is currently sometime early Tuesday morning and I can finally try to put down some thoughts about Monday. I haven't tried to sleep yet so I don't know if I will be a zombie tomorrow or not. Watch your local news for updates.

Today, we had the opportunity to be led around the Old City of Jerusalem by an actual guide. He's like a book but with legs and not as cheap. We met Patrick Amar (kudos to him by the way -- if you are looking for a guide, he's incredible; as Talia put it "you're the first person not in our family to put up with us for so long.") at the beginning of Mamilla, a pedestrian walkway with such important historical sites as the Gap. Who can forget the incredible biblical battle between David and Goliath through the aisles of Super-Pharm? So we looked at stuff and bought nothing.

Into the Old City we went, by way of the Jaffa Gate. We decided to start the day with a tour of the wall of the Old City (the Rampart tour between Jaffa and Damascus gate). Talia didn't like the heights, or the slippery rocks, or the heat, or the data being thrown her way. But she did...um...well, she pretty much hated it. Let's move on.

We got down at the Damascus gate, and walked up a bit to Hezekiah's cave. Hezekiah had a cave apparently. He didn't have a housekeeper. So we left. We went back towards the gate but first had a chance to see a real live olive tree. It had olives on it and everything. By everything, I clearly mean "olives." We walked into the Damascus gate and through the Muslim Quarter. Talia wasn't enthused about that. We made it through and went through part of the Christian Quarter as well. Talia was less scared but no more interested. We made it through 2 different shuks and then stopped for breath. For lunch, we stopped at the Ma'afa Ne'eman, a bakery with foccacia and mini pizzas and sandwiches. So Talia got a donut. I accidentally ordered two espressos. Julie went elsewhere and got a felafel -- we are trying a bunch of different felafels. The one last night ("Shalom") was spicy but flavorful. The one today was less impressive to me but the kids liked it. Dumb kids. While Talia and I ate, Julie and Maddie went to the Hadaya store because women love that sort of junk...pieces of metal with engravings on it. I don't see it myself, but hey, maybe that's why I'm a guy. After lunch (and finding out that my credit card was frozen so I couldn't buy anything else on it) and bathroom breaks we moved into the Jewish Quarter. We saw the Churva Synagogue from the outside, the Ramban Synagogue from the inside, and 4 other Sephardic Synagogues at which the curator told Julie that her skirt was too short. We wandered around and heard the stories of the Chasidic Synagogue and we saw the Karaite Synagogue. It was all fascinating to me so the kids really hated it. We made our way into the Aish Hatorah building and blessed the air conditioning. It was enough to make us want to convert to whatever Aish was selling. From there we saw the kotel. Downstairs was next and we went out, first, to the Davidson Archaeological area. There we saw excavations including around the south wall, and then we went inside for a short movie about the experience of visiting the temple 2000 years ago. It was poorly edited and light on character development with some glaring plot holes, but the special effects were great. As was the A/C.

We parted ways with Patrick at the Western Wall and while the kids prayed and stuffed notes in the crack of a wall (please say they wished for a bajilliion dollars...please say they wished for a bajillion dollars) I prayed and picked up my tickets for the tunnel tour under the extension of the wall. While the tour was underground and therefore a bit cooler, it was also a tight squeeze in a humid space with all the allure to a (pre) teenager as the Libertarian National Convention in a non-election year. When we got to the end (in the Muslim quarter) our guide explained that we would not have a military escort back to the Western Wall so we could either go back through the tunnels on our own and exit the way we came in, or go back through the Muslim Quarter by ourselves. We voted 2-1 (Finland abstained) to exit and walk through the Muslim Quarter. Talia was NOT happy about this and made that known often. On the way, we made plans to go out to eat. And we let Talia choose.

Talia loves the beef so she chose a restaurant known far and wide (that is, by one very fat customer in America) for its steak. It is called El Gaucho. We found its address and tried to get a cab to take us. When we explained where we wanted to go, he refused to drive us -- he told us it was a very short walk. Now I'm no businessman, but if we are willing to pay, why decline? The answer? It would have taken him longer to navigate traffic there and back than was worth it since he already had a really good parking space. So we walked, and it was not so far. Of course, we didn't realize that the name "El Gaucho" is Argentinian for "your map is wrong and you'll never find the place." When we finally stumbled upon it, we were asked if we had a reservation. We said no and prepared to leave, but the waiter pulled some imaginary strings and got us a seat in the almost empty restaurant.

The service was wonderful, as were the fries. The steak was run of the mill steak but the servings were small compared to the equivalent orders in the US. We all left feeling a bit hungry. On the whole, I wouldn't recommend the place. There are places where you can waste less money on a similar piece of cow. We actually decided to stop for more felafel on the way back. Problem is, the felafel stand we were shooting for required that we go past a women's clothing store. 45 minutes later we finally headed out. This felafel, Moshiko, was wonderful. You should go there. Now. And bring me back more.

We stumbled back home and I skyped Visa. They explained that not only was it strange to see charges from Israel, but there were also a bunch of online purchases. I didn't know what the purchases online were so this confirmed that my card has been compromised. Yay...a quick check of email and like that, and we are headed off to sleep. In tomorrow's chapter, we walk to a museum. No way the kids won't love THAT.