Monday, January 21, 2013

We got the beach

I know I like to complain. I know that my complaining is not just my defining characteristic, but one of the few things that keeps people interested in my boring little life. So I know how important it is that I continue to find things to complain about. Therefore, I will begin today's entry with a complaint.

The breeze coming up from the south was a big strong for a few minutes this afternoon.

Yup. That's pretty much it. Sure, one child was being a bit standoffish and the other is a bit pouty at times, but if the weather stays 79 degrees and partially sunny and the pools don't disappear overnight, I'll be OK.

I must say, though, that I find it disconcerting here. It IS 80 degrees most every day. Don't these people know that it is January? Where are the winter coats? What about the shovels? Won't anybody think of the de-icer? I feel like I need seasons. i need the anticipation -- the smell of the chill in the air and the fire in the fireplace. The first buds of spring and the sense, in the earliest parts of the fall that a blizzard is right around the corner. That cold chilling rain balanced by the warm spring shower. Repeated spreading of salt mitigated by the memories of heat and humidity so oppressive that people have to squirt random strangers as they walk by to avoid having anyone spontaneously combust or stick to the sidewalk. Seasons.

But I was told that you get over that need rather quickly.

I woke up (after a night of some coughing and hacking and coughing) and sat out on the balcony for a few minutes fighting the urge to spit on the people hundreds of feet below. After that test of will I went with a child to the local pool. We met others there and had a nice morning swim. The water was warm, the sun hot and the towels plentiful. Color me impressed. And sunburnt. But mostly, impressed.

I came back upstairs as the children all went to find bigger pools elsewhere (interestingly, none of the pools is any deeper than 4 foot 9 at any point; well, I thought it was interesting). The wife woke up a bit later and we all confabed about the day. That amounted to going back out to the pools. And that was the general approach. For most everyone else, pool, rinse, repeat with some "ocean and sand" mixed in. For me it was "watch all of those other people while lying in the sun." Our host's family came over with pizza and that became lunch. Mediocre but present -- an important attribute to any pizza as mere existence takes a pizza's taste from a 0 to at least a 5. A trip to the bar with my dear friend for 2 double vodka shots and a beer amounted to a lot more money than I have space to type. It was practically criminal. Seriously -- how can anyone afford to be an alcoholic?

Evening activity was a walk to the local dinner hot spot, Dunkin Donuts. Nice to see that some foods are predictable and delicious, no matter where you are. The donut selection was very small (no chocolate of ANY sort) and the ice cream selection was very small (the only chocolate was some sort of bizarre cream cheese, chocolate, nut thing but eeeeeeyyyyuuuuuw) and this is in a store open 24 hours a day -- if it is this bad at 8pm, what are the choices for anyone who has a hankering at 4:35? But iced coffee and a cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese hit the spot. It even allowed me to take in, and not react to, the guy with the basketball shorts, t-shirt, and black socks/slip in moccasins. We walked by by way of a Walgreens with a larger kosher selection than most small towns and came back for the evening's round of sibling rivalry ("she breathed my air", "well, she looked at my shadow"). There will be a reconoiter over to Publix (the grocery so nice, they can afford to misspell its name) to plan for Shabbos and then, no doubt, much more arguing amongst the children.

In an effort to keep you up to date with things I chose not to do (as per my earlier post about missing opportunities, I present these photos:

My child, refusing to spend time with me, or be photographed by me.

Vodka in the mini bar which I did not drink (thus saving myself, no doubt, one thousand dollars)

A pool I did not swim in

A cabana I neither reserved nor sat in

A kite I did not fly

Jetskis I did not rent

A helicopter I did not charter

An ocean I did not swim in

A picture I did not take

A sea gull I neither ate, nor taught the simple joy of flight

A parasail which I did not try

A hover-para-glide-ski-sail-mobile which I was even to afraid to ask about

A large ship which I did not try to flag down so I could get off this crazy island

I also have a picture of a beach which I did not walk along but this uploading procdess has taken me over an hour, and 2 computers plus a camera and phone. You'll have to imagine the pristine, white sands, unsullied by my footsteps.

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