A moment of strength-ness

 

Post Neilah thoughts, Yom Kippur, 5781

I, too often, sit through pre-Neilah speeches that aim to frighten me, to tell me that this is a last chance and I have to rush to catch God before the gates close or else I'm out of luck. Last chances and all that. This year, I was possessed of a different message, one of reassurance and one that carried me through Neilah better than I had in the past.

I was thinking about a weird verse which reads (and I don't have citations handy -- I just finished breaking my fast so cut me some New Year's slack...TIA) that the sound of the Shofar, at the giving of the Torah "halach v'chazek" went and got stronger. It is often pointed out that a note blown in a shofar weakens over time. Just ask anyone who has sustained a note extra long. But the miraculous sounds at Sinai somehow got stronger and louder over time. Strange idea, that time brings about strength. And here we are -- 24 hours into a 25 hour fast, stomachs starting to make themselves known, headaches threatening (or worse) and our attention flagging. Will we ever make it through?

God says "yes."

He says we are a treasured nation (am segulah, though segulah also seems to refer to good fortune) and we have learned how to get stronger as the game goes on. Let's think about it.

Hashem took us out of Egypt when we were at a spiritual depth. He could have floated us right to the promised land, boom. But no, he decided, they aren't ready. They need time. He gave us the opportunity soon after, but we proved we weren't ready. He threw obstacles, wars, plagues, hunger and random grumblings. We weren't ready. But 40 years later, we stood on the edge, toughened by the adversity of the desert experience and solidified in our faith. We were ready.

After the incident of the Golden Calf, Hashem could have decided to forgive us -- we had learned our lesson, and given Moshe the second set of tablets. No, he decided, they aren't ready. Forty days later (on Yom Kippur, by the way) our repentance was complete and we were forgiven because after that time, we were ready, stronger as a people.

And each year, when we reach the depths of our spiritual journey, our batteries depleted and our spirits lowest. We Ask God for forgiveness. "No," he says, "you aren't ready." We take forty days and we pray, and we think, and we, miraculously, get stronger. Then, finally, at the end of day 40, when stand on the edge, ready to enter the promised land of forgiveness. We have the final prayer, Neilah, when we lace up and get ready to cross the river on a spiritually recharged high. We are ready. It took all these days, prayers, rituals and introspection, but instead of getting tired, instead of diminishing, we got stronger. As a people and as individuals, we are all ready.

Then, we move right into Ma'ariv, from strength to strength, mitzvah to mitzvah, riding that high. We set up our sukkah and try to remain on that height and be ready so that next year, we can be in Jerusalem. 

Stay strong, people. We have crossed into a state of cleanliness. Stay strong and let's see if we can make it last.