Random Ideas, Sunday edition

 I have an idea for a product so indulge me my pitch:

Did you ever wonder why people watch game shows? Sure there is the schadenfreude we get when people on TV fail, but that's secondary (supposedly, we watch racing for the good driving, not the crashes). We aren't watching for characters or story lines but because we want to judge ourselves and our intelligence against the sea of humanity we are surrounded by, as represented by the people on game shows. We just want validation for our superiority. We want to brag that we are smarter than those people and success is a matter of luck and not knowledge. If only we were lucky, then the world would see that we could beat any of those supposed geniuses. But to have to watch through the rest of the shows and the inane chatter and special effects just to get to this place of smugness is inefficient. Therefore, I propose that, for a fee, you can buy access to a set of Q/A cards with the trivia from a particular show/date. You can then play that game with the TV off and see how well you would do and you can honestly say that you know more facts than the people on the show as you amass your own pretend fortune.

So you send in your money and the date and show and you can challenge your friends to see who is really the champion, short only the good fortune to be chosen.

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I believe that, soon, all sports names will be created through a combination of the following first names:

Anthony, Aaron, Andrew, Andre, Jared, Roger

and the following last names:

Rodgers, Jones, Johnson, Andrews

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Are "franks in blankets" considered sandwiches? I haven't looked it up and I know that the standard question has to do with a regular hot dog in a bun, but I want to go to the next step and consider frank-in-blankets. Man do I like franks-in-blankets. Except that ones I have are made with a phyllo dough which is too flakey for my sensory preferences. So I'll have to eat them with my eyes closed.

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I would like to propose a new endorsement deal. I have been named the "Official friend" of the NFL! As the current holder of this title for the 3 year term of contract, I am now allowed, up to 20 times each month, to say, while watching or discussing a pro-football player, "Hey, I know that guy -- he's a friend of mine! Really!" And I will be allowed to show an authenticated photo of me with the player doing something indicating a real friendship. Three times a month I can make an unscheduled call to an NFL player and he will hold a (minimum) two minute conversation with me, on speakerphone if I request.

In return, the NFL and its players are allowed to use my likeness in their advertising and tell everyone they know me. Seems fair.

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Bumper sticker statement of the day, "If you thought that's what I wanted to hear, you'd be wrong."

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So last night, or thereabouts, I heard a song I won't name by an artist I won't name, but whom I have met and am somehow connected to on Facebook. I was touched and creatively inspired (that wasn't the normal way to inspire, but a creative way...no, j/k) by the song, so I wanted to tell the writer and performer, "thanks!" and "you are real and definitely exist and I met you."

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They say he was listening to music on his ear buds right when the piano landed on him -- the Beatles, "A Day in the Life." I like to think that his afternoon stroll developed with that song as its accompanying soundtrack and he was crushed right at the crescendo at the end of the song.

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Why am I just now realizing that the REM song "Everybody Hurts" is using a line that has, inherently, a bi-directionality in its meaning. Each of us, at some point, is the aggressor and at another time, the victim. We hurt others and feel hurt ourselves (the verb "hurt" is then used transitively in one case and as a reflexive state-of-being verb in the other). This means we all are capable of empathy no matter the situation and leaving that ability is to choose to be insensitive.

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Once a music critic asserts that a piece of art (of various sorts) is "derivative"  or that it leans heavily on either:

central but esoteric works by well-known artists

or

commonly used elements (cliches) that any idiot would recognize

then everyone must agree without question or admit to ignorance. The critic creates authority through his confidence and I question my confidence because I cede to him authority.

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Each of us, at birth, is assigned two "ages." The first is the date of our death (our maximum age) and the other is our emotional age -- the number at which a person's sense of self will feel most in stasis with its world. So some people seem like little grown ups, being most comfortable with a level of maturity which seems out of place in a 5 year old or a 15 year old, or having adult personality traits even when a child. Some adults remain childish, goofy, or somehow less mature regardless of their chronological age. I must have subconsciously decided that in my late teens, I found the most emotional resonance so I have chosen a career which allows me to be surrounded by people who play in to creating that emotional setting for me every day.

And that, by the way, is a fish I landed while bobbing for eels. If you know, you know.

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I was listening to (and enjoying) George Benson's "Six to Four" and I thought to myself, this would be a great song to choose if I'm looking for something to have on while I listen to music!

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I saw on a commercial that there was a testimonial by an actual customer. At the bottom of the screen were the words "John was compensated for his time." Isn't that just double speak for "John was paid"?

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The two iconic pieces of music related to football -- the first was composed by John Williams! Really!

https://www.whosampled.com/John-Williams/NBC-Sunday-Night-Football-Theme/

the second has been around for a long, long time but here it is:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIxeOvClzR4