New TV Show Idea!

Title: The Wandering Jew (negotiable -- studio wants "Black Hat"  or "Rabbi Bookman, Jewish Investigator")

The scene is somewhere in Mid-Europe in the 17th or so century. The time is difficult for Jews but one Jewish sage, who travels from town to town to hear questions and kill chickens, works tirelessly to protect his people, AND THE LAW.

Meet Rabbi Moses Jewowitzbergstein (check with legal; they'll know), known as Rabbi Magic. He goes to where there's trouble and sticks the long nose of Jewish law in to it. (guys -- is that offensive? Go ask 100 random teenagers, but if they don't get it, don't explain it; that's another vote for "not offensive") He works to defend the innocent and expose the guilty, regardless of race, creed, or ability to kill you if you don't help. And probably if you do, also. Following the 46 minute story arc model we get towards the end with the a-ha/reveal moment. The hook is that it is sourced in actual Jewish law and other canonical texts! He quotes the talmud when it makes a point about psychology or logic, he cites Maimonides when he wants a medical opinion and medrash to explain the origin of stories and beliefs. He uses verses from the Hebrew bibles (note -- find out about it; what's it called and where can we get one) and explains moral points with arcana from rabbinic, mystical works.

Once every few episodes he does some Talmud magic to whip up a solution. Often he sets a trap

Most of the people reject and attack him. but he uses his Jewish-folksy ways and a timely quote or two to win people over. Usually, anyone who is persuaded dies in some tragic but not quite exactly heroic way in the third act. Eventually, he threatens to leave and gets as far as 5 minutes out of town when he already hears sounds of gun shots, breaking glass, women screaming and general lawlessness settling in, so he sighs, turns around and returns.

 He takes from these textual sources (and he speaks of talmudic conversations as if they happened in front of him -- we will need some recuring Jewy looking actors and they should learn to speak Hebrew from that humus guy down the block. He's brown, right?) and assembles all those sources and then writes them all down, many times. He invites all the other cops, suspects and investigators, plus a number of hangers-on, and hands out the papers. He then proceeds to give a 35 minute speech going through all the sources and deriving from this the truth regarding the suspect at hand and a good lesson about how we need to be better people.

Here is an example of one potential outcome:

The truly guilty party will be the only one who doesn't fall asleep and is caught at the door by Mini Golem* and his pals who were opening up the door to see if the rabbi was finished talking and they happened to whack him in the head. One boy dropped his lollipop but his older sister rolled her eyes and took the one from her mouth and gave it to him to keep him quiet. Then she mumbled "I hate you, but in a good way" she smiles at the camera, and, scene.

* sorry -- forgot to tell you: suggestion from Bob that we have a feisty mini-Golem sidekick who gets into trouble but always stops the little altar boy (under orders from his evil and possibly abusive boss) from claiming a blood libel (I'm thinking more like a priestly Ren and the submissive-turned-sadistic altar boy, much more in the mold of Stimpy. Can the b plot be the A plot sometimes? Do Golems...is that the pl -- check. have girlfriends? Would she break her golem's heart if he had one (maybe longer arc -- Yosele Golem, he lovable and sweet, mute amnesiac who loves Jews but must remain forever alone as he is not Jewish and is really, really scared of knives+++alt idea, he can never become Jewish because when he was formed nothing was placed "there" and the rabbis are still arguing about it (once every few, he gets an update or letter or something about his case). 

Also, comic interludes while Rabbi Magic [NOTE -- idea for tagline -- each week a character says, "That rabbi's doing his magic again" or something like that] moves into town, meats locals, chants blessings (find out what rabbis did at that time) is killing chicken [note -- consider Turkey around thanksgiving**Marketing**) and looking at women's underwear (bloomers -- PG-13 for anti-chicken violence is as far as we can go). He explains ideas about Jews and Judaism (we will need some writers who know something about Jews so if we have any wikipedia editors on staff, lift him/her for this. Also for cred we should probably have a rabbi look things over so head over to Berkley and take the first one you see. They all think the same anyway. Bob suggests that we can just ask Chat GPT but on the prompt say "answering as if you are a rabbi..." and this could save the huge amount we otherwise would have to pay if we asked an actual rabbi to make a living teaching us about Judaism! Recurring joke -- the rabbi keeps missing a sale or a bargain.