Expert Parenting

 I think that we must express appreciation -- we must say that public thank you to the forces that crafted us. I look at my children and I am amazed at the people they have become so I must say, loud and proud, a great big thank you to 

TELEVISION!

I have two kids (one, two). They are both Yids (one, two)

etc.

anyway, let's talk television and the skill of child rearing. It is essential that all young parents spend time with their television, currating channels and preferences so that when the children are left alone with the television, the television has the information it needs to raise the children in a proper manner. We decided, early on, that Law and Order would be our primary parenting aide, and the impact that that decision has had is palpable. One child went into crime fighting, focusing on sexual violence and criminal psychology. Money well spent (our cable bill, that is). She even met one of the stars of the show but had the good sense not to call Mariska Hargitay, "mom."

Then there's the other one. In a call this week, she mentioned that she was doing a bunch of cooking and one recipe called for a roux. She said that. In passing conversation. She used the word "roux" like it is a normal word to use in every day talk like "sanguine" or "undermine". I know that I cooked stuff as a youth and young man, but my recipe was (as per my DDDOD) "take the leftovers, take the schmaltz, mix it up, fry it and eat it." My child mentions off-handedly that she has to make a roux. For this, I credit the hard and consistent work of the Food Network. Good going guys! And in between cooking and baking shows, she was raised by Grey's Anatomy and now she is a nurse.

If only I had raised the children on TV shows about winning the lottery...