Dry humor

I was chowing down on a handful of Pepcid, as is my right, and I felt something in my hand that felt decidedly un-Pepcid like. I checked and it was a little dessicant canister. I put it back into the container and returned to my repast. But I noticed that in the cabinet, I already have a row of such containers (as I am a huge fan of Pepcid and its generic cousins). Then I walked outside, and saw a dessicant packet on the ground with its familiar buzzkill of a warning, "do not eat." I wasn't planning on it, but if the MAN tells me I can't, suddenly I want to.

What the hell else am I supposed to do with this? Sure, I could just throw it in the garbage, but to quote the sage, "you don't waste good." These dessicants are still doing their job so instead of dumping them, we should be using them for a purpose that might save humanity.

Save. Humanity.

I have no doubt that between us we must have thousands of dessicants (I have like 5 so I figure you have at least a couple of thousand), all sitting around waiting to suck the moisture out of something. That's what they do and they are good at it. Have you ever opened a bottle of Pepcid and found it full of water? Nope. Dessicant 1, water, nothing! So we should collect all the dessicants that are no longer needed by their original housing/product and ship them to someplace that has water problems, like the far east during monsoon season. Wouldn't it be amazing if, instead of sandbags or some other improvised protection, people in a flood zone surrounded themselves with dessicants? The water wouldn't stand a chance. The only down side I see is very, very dry and that's a good thing.

So please take all your dessicants and put them into an envelope and address it as follows:

Somewhere undesirably Wet

Earth

You don't need a zip code. It'll get there.