Thanksgiving

Chesed Shel Emet is the ultimate type of chesed which we can do, epitomized by helping bury someone who has no one else to take care of it. The deceased, we understand, has no wayo to say "thank you" so our action is pure altruism. But why is thanks so important?

The mishna (Avot, 6:6) teaches that one who says something giving credit to its original source brings deliverance to the world. So acknowledging that our words are actually someone else's (intellectual honesty) is vital. Admitting that something was due to someone else is a statement of humility and honesty, and thanking someone is conceding that another person or force is the source of things, that alone we could not have achieved what we can by using the contributions of another.

In fact, the Hebrew word for thanks is related to the word for "admit". Thanking isn't just about showing appreciation, it is about reducing the importance of the self and elevating another. If we do a service for someone and that person cannot acknowledge our role, then it takes more effort for us to put ourselves out there with no promise of ever being raised up by someone else's admission of our utility.

We all want to be validated and we all need to validate. We all want to be acknowledged as useful and we all have to acknowledge. We are limited when on our own, and we have to realize that we are therefore, never really alone. Constant blessings which acknowledge that Hashem is actually the source of what we have acts as a constant reminder of our place in the grand scheme of things.

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side note -- maybe one sits shiva to give OTHERS an opportunity to teach about the deceased, not to tell others about the deceased.