Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Two dis at Dayney

Well, I survived my first foray into the Magic Kingdom (tm, no doubt). I have a few reactions which I'd like to share.

Holy crap. What a waste of time. Long lines, mediocre rides and over priced, well, everything.

I discovered that my map missed a few areas, such as "Waiting on Line Land" and "Disappointment Village." Yes, the live and interactive Laugh Factory was neat, but the log flume (Splash Mountain) was a wait for a whole lot of nothing. I did notice that the chotchkes in the stores were stamped "Made in China-Pavillon".

We had a great view for the 3pm "Parade of things for sale" where dressed up college students from around the world got internship credit for dancing repeatedly on a 98 degree day. Apparently, if someone passes out from the heat, it costs $6.95 to resuccitate him. And there is a line.

The great American pasttime of waiting on line is honored repeatedly at Disney. There were roving representatives of the DMV there getting pionters.

The directions to and from the park refer to things don't actually mesh with what is on the street signs, and no one has told the people of Florida that a road that is called "east" or "west" should not run North/South. And saying "take route x" is useless when there are 2 directions to choose from. I suspect that a vast majority of drivers are from out of the area -- you'd think that there was more thought put into some of this. Why do I have to pount out the obvious?

We parked in Pluto 27. If that means something to you, then get a life. The children demanded scads of dolls and toys and useless stuff and now we have it all. We left one thing for the rest of the masses. Anyway, one child almost suffered heat stroke and I almost collapsed from a combination of vertigo and a blister on my toe. The two large draft beers I drank poolside when I got back to the hotel helped.

Tomorrow we either go to MGM and a water park, or back to the kingdom to finish off the Land of Stupidity.

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