I have a beef

I have lived many dreams. i have come to terms with what I want and I have gone out to get it. And now, a new scheme is taking its place in the queue of my desires.

If you are at all familiar with the process of producing kosher beef, you know that one of the ways in which a piece of meat must be prepared is through a process of soaking and salting in order to remove a certain percentage of the blood. I'm OK with that because I have never been a big fan of blood. But the down side is that the reputation of kosher meat is that it is salty.

There is another way. Meat that has been ritually slaughtered can be taken (pretty much immediately) and broiled over an open flame and it can be consumed as kosher. My plan springs from that.

I have done some research (not much...just a webpage or two) and it seems that i can secure a full sized cow for something in the range of $1500. If I go to a kosher slaughterhouse in the midwest and "adopt" a cow, because I'm not taking a lien on all the parts which will not be sold to the kosher consumer, I can probably get away with shelling out a cool grand and calling it even. So, with my thou paid, I want to get the slaughterhouse to shecht me a cow and pull aside a bunch of the meat, prepare it to be steaks, and then have a big ol' cookout so I can eat that meat without the salting process. There will be more than enough meat, so I am throwing the door open for other investors. Some quick research shows that I can get 50 steaks of various cuts from the cow. Charge each guy (this will probably be only guys...) 30 bucks for his steak and my 1000 is covered. If each guy has to buy a plane ticket and a hotel room for (let's say) 3 nights -- enough time to get in on a Monday, eat the meat on Tuesday, mid afternoon and probably some of the fully kashered/salted meat on Wednesday night and then leave Thursday. The balance of the meat can be shipped back here and divvied up, or donated to a soup kitchen out west and the donation can serve as a deduction.

Yes, this plan needs some refining. Yes, it will cost some money. But there is some dream fulfillment, some charity and some male bonding.

If you are game (HA!) let me know. I figure sometime this summer is a reasonable goal.