Super Fry-day

Friday morning. So last night, I was up and lying in bed. That's it. That's the whole story. I caught a couple of hours after daybreak so I am in fine form. I got up and chatted for a bit with Nomi and David, then decided that it was a nice day for a McDonald's. Because of the late starting time for shabbat, I can eat a lunch and not ruin my appetite. As if that's even possible. I needed some sustenance and processed food and wanted to go into the sabbath with the right level of self-loathing. The McDonald's on Ben Yehuda is closed on Fridays but don't dismay; there is one in the Cinema City mall and according to the Google, it is already open at 11AM. So off I walked into the sun and meat.

I arrived dripping with anticipation and sweat. Mostly sweat. Lo and behold, the store was closed. Also, Cinema City is light on the A/C in that they believe in using light as A/C. But someone was working inside the McDonald's so I held out hope. In the interim I walked around the mall. Cafe Greg was open and full, as was New Deli (open, not as full). There is a Berlitz store which offers classes in English using total immersion. Aside from the fact that on a hot day, total immersion sounds great, I feel like teaching a class by simply speaking English and expecting them to catch on is exactly my skill set. In the space that used to be a burger place there is now a "Pit Master." I'm hopeful that it is not a callback to pre-Civil War days but as it was closed, I couldn't see if anyone had a whip.

I found a new corner, one which I have never seen. Finding a new corner is especially exciting as the mall is round. It holds an Aroma, a sushi place (Japanika) and a grill place (HaChaverim). The former looks open and the latter, not so much. There is also a stair case up! Actually, 3 because the up and down escalators are not working, but I didn't even know that there was an upstairs so this is all very revelatory. Who knew that there was more to the mall? Probably everyone but me, that's who. There is a dentist, an optometrist, a physical therapist and Spectrum Imaging (for all the pictures of your insides you never knew you needed). There is a display of old projectors and on each one there is a sign indicating that no one is to touch it. If they don't want me to touch it, why put it out there when McDonald's is closed?

There is also an outside, with kiosks detailing biblical events and concepts. The doors to the outside are chained, though, and it looks to be a destruction site behind the Eretz HaTanach, with old tires and a lack of people.

I found a staircase further up so I traipsed into the sky only to discover that it was a fitness center. I'll pass. Back all the way down, I found a sort of pop-up book store but almost all the books were in Hebrew. The one English language book I found was Sylvia Plath's "Ariel" and I considered buying it because that's a great resource when forcing Hebrew speakers to learn English via immersion. I found ann arcade with different types of "claw" cames. You can spend 10NIS for a chance to get a new phone or speakers. There was machine which, for 10, gave you the chance to win a single sneaker! I also saw a store offering Electrical Muscle Stimulation but I feared that that was a euphemism so I walked away quickly. Next door is a "Gastro Clinic." That reminded me to check and, yes, McDonald's was open!

I used the ordering kiosk (in Hebrew, no less) semi-successfully. They had no diet soda on the menuthe menu so I got a water -- I believe they knocked a shekel off the cost because I got the water. Or maybe not; I don't know what a minus sign means in Hebrew. If it is what I think, a credit of 1 shekel, then next time, I will just go in and order 100 waters and make bank. They asked for a various set of numbers, none of which I had. I ordered a chicken sammich. Fair question as to "why" but the answer is folded suchly: I have eaten some burgers on this trip and have had burgers at this place so I wanted to try something different, and I have never had the chicken sammich, so for the sake of science, I made the call. I also ordered some sawg (a Mcd's cloth bag!) so I can advertise to the world that I don't care about my health. Total was 83NIS. I received my order number: 1301. This is not my favorite number but it is now in the running.

Oh yeah, I supersized it.

The dairy section is walled off but it is easy for people to order from it and take the dairy food inside. I'm not second guessing the supervision. I just find it interesting, that's all. And it means I couldn't get a fabled shake. The sandwich is not a single hunk hunk burning chicken. It was one medium sized piece and 1 small piece. There was lettuce, onions, tomato, maybe a pickle, onions, and a mustard sauce. It is called the Mumbai (I'm assuming because there is no cow in it). It was unexpectedly spicy but once I accepted that, I enjoyed it. I never got my swag bag so I walked back up to the counter and explained that I hadn't. The woman asked what I didn't get so I told her. She told me that they don't have any bags. That's the kind of thing that should be reflected on the menu. Anyway, in her Hebrew and my English, we agreed that she would credit me on my card for the ba. This would require erasing the entire order and reprocessing it. I think she did that (I have the new receipt but I'm honestly not sure what it means). And at the end, she cautioned me not to order the bag again. Maybe she should have apologized and removed it from the menu, but it was more efficient just to tell me not to do it again. The bun was very soft, the sauce great and the chicken was incredibly crunchy and crispy.

I played hit the balloon with a couple of little children whose mother was roundly ignoring them. You're welcome, lady. I walked back via the overland passage instead of through the netherworld of the Rabin tunnel and then to the house so I could sweat some more. I took a nap with Eyal guarding me and now I'm awake and starting to think of Shabbat. I doubt I'll get back to this today so, happy, happy to all youse and see you on the flip side.