Walking the Walk, Talking the truck

Last night, I got to sleep at about 10:45 and was up at 2:47. Then, awake til 3:30, and back to sleep (with various short breaks) until 9:30! Not too shabby. That benadryl does good work. Buy stock in that, people.

I had an actual "bright side" thought. This proves that I'm on vacation. So here's the thought -- going bald means that I don't have to pack a comb. Imagine how over-weight my bags would have been otherwise!

Rafi and I jaywalked to the 15 bus and got honked at only once. The neat part was that the honker didn't really slow down or anything. The bus was 6 NIS -- thanks for the Rav Kav, Mads! I overheard a completely representative Hebrew conversation:

Person 1: מה עניינים?

Person 2: מה המצב?

Person 1: מה קורה?

Person 2: ואיתך?

exeunt

That was an actual conversation that I heard on the bus. Tell the NY Times. That's a real Metro Life kind of thing.

I woke and started getting ready and here's the joke I wrote: I just walked in from Jerusalem and boy do my calves hurt.

Maybe it isn't so much of a joke but all day, I found that when I sat for a bit, my calves seized up. Huzzah.

We made our way to 22 Kovshei Katamon which is a building on a street near the bus we took. I have no more details except that there is a door and a staircase. Get the picture? I delivered some letters from students to someone who will, we hope, get them to the army peoples to show support. Also, I slipped a couple of ungraded papers in there so I hope the soldiers, y'know, scratch my back, and grade them for me. After the bus ride, it struck me that if we called it "traffique" it would seems so much more exotic and no one would mind it.

The streets in Jerusalem seem to have been laid out at a time before there were people. Not before there were people there, but before the idea of people was created.  We took the 13 bus back to King George, but the only thing crazier than the road layout is the bus drivers. Those streets and the corners are really small and the drivers are gods of the ridiculous and negotiate the turns with a minimum of casualties. we were on this street and there was a left turn only land. It wasn't the left lane. It was the middle lane and you couldn't turn left from the left lane. Unpack that one, Doc.

We went to Sam's Bagels for lunch. Each of us (Rafi and I) got bagels with stuff on them and a drink. 98 Shekels. I remembered how much I like a good lemonade. This was a good lemonade. I did learn the truism that "grammar is for immigrants" as I heard native speakers use constructions that would have (and probably did) get me low grades in Hebrew class. I discovered that I still had my roaming data on so there goes another 10 bucks. I figured I would exploit it since I was already paying for the use.

A note about the heat -- I recall that post-partum women make a goal of a single thing to do each day. I approahed it the same way. My goal is to stay in bed.

Rafi and I went into a few jewelry stores, and some book stores, and then we found a street bazaar. I looked for old American coins and found that there was a guy selling coins for 1 shekel each. He had pennies in there, but they were from the 80's and later. Those pennies are barely worth more than $.02 and he wanted the equivalent of 30 cents for them. I did find older pennies but they were in a fancy book so I'm sure he wanted more than they were worth. Rafi tried to fish out all the Euros and buy them for a shekel each and then resell them as actual Euros which would get him more in return. The guy didn't like that and chased us away with some unkind words. Not many of the jewelry store had heard or valued the brand name "Tiffany & Co." The things we think of as being valuable are so only because of brand name recognition. Take the name value away and people offer you next to nothing for a piece of jewelry that sells for hundreds of dollars.

We continued through the shuk just for fun and maybe to find another jeweler who would insult us with a low bid. We found Rafi's work and I bought a water there so that he would earn money. I'm good like that and also it was a million degrees outside. As we continued walking Rafi asked questions I have always had. The first was about the multiplicity of certain types of stores in close proximity. Opening a spice place next to a spice place or a hardware store next to a hardware store just seems like a sure fire way to make both stores go out of business. The other question was about those stores that never seemed to have any customers. How do they survive?

I might have spoken of this before, but because of twist, hilly roads and the lack of parking, it seems like people only shop for a day or two. I buy for the week, but I can drive there, park and drive home with no concern about finding a spot. In Jerusalem, a few people had granny carts but others had to suck it up and carry everything while they shopped.

I decided to give Power Coffeeworks another chance because the 12 year old wasn't working. A nice lady took my order and talked about coffee with me. She explained a long vs. a short and explained why one would prefer one over the other. I got a "longer" and it was fantastic.

Back to the house to get ready for the Food Truck Festival. I intend to eat lots of carbs (carburetors). I hope they have monster trucks but, come to think of it, I don't know what Monster Truck Food is, or even Truck monster food. But I bet it is good. Nava brought home a friend (Ori) who was also a student of mine so we chatted. And she got another student on the phone and he said he would meet us at the festival. So Ben Kohn, here's to you for coming out to the festival!

While this is all going on, Naomi and I are still trying to unpack a bit of my parents' estate. Nomi's house was owned by my parents and they filled out whatever forms they did using their passport numbers (as they had no Israeli ID number). But now to transfer the deed, the govt wants proof that the people listed by passport number are the same people separately identified with a social security number. They believe that there is a single document that has both numbers on it. And they seem to think that that document is a social security card. It isn't. So I spent much time on our walk and bus ride to the trucks of the food variety on the phone with the social security admin.  The bus was the number 7 with extra pastrami (thanks Mad!)and we took it to Beit Sefer Hamesorati. From there we walked to the אוטו אוכל at the Walter and Elise Promenade. I left my number for a call back and eventually, they got through to me (it took a few tries) and the nice lady told me that this could only be handled by my local office. So I called my local office. 30 rings later, the recorded messages and hold music began and continued until they hung up on me.

The truck festival had a dessert level and a main course level. There were about 7 or 8 van/trucks. You scan the QR code, choose the restaurant,  place your order and pay online and then you watch a fancy screen by your food truck of choice. It tells you when your order is up. Sounds nice, right? Meh. Mine was still in the "waiting" list and Nomi got a text saying it was ready. She picked it up while I was still watching the waiting list. I got 3 corndogs (which had more of a tempura batter than a good cornmeal coating but which were yummy) and fries (all-in, 50 NIS). I was certainly allergic to some of the desserts so my quest to eat everything was thwarted. Again.

The food ordering was not too horrible but the volume of people and music were both higher than my tolerance level. I got a soda (the drink purchasing required to fight to the front of the bar and then shout your order and try not to get dead. I am really bad at demanding attention so I was getting ignored until Nomi explained to the guy that I was a pathetic tourist so he should help me out. I asked for the soda and gave him 20 NIS. He gave me the soda and not the change. I was in no mood to get his attention again and ask for the 8 shekels he owed me. Nomi was not so timid and he gave me my change. Later, I was given a coupon for a free beer (I got a Carlsburg and drank a little of it before giving it to Rafi). I tried calling Hackensack again and this time, eventually a human (or maybe not, but she seemed human so who am I to judge?) answered and told me to file a Freedom of Information Act request to get the cards. She sent me to a website. I am SO glad I waited on hold for so much time. Try the internet. Brilliant!

We hopped a seven bus (thanks Mad!) and hoofed it back to the house. Now thge young people have gone out to party, or to bed or whatever else they do and I'm going to go work on a crossword puzzle and hope that I can get some sort of night's sleep. I don't know if I will update before shabbat or afterwards. Stay tuned!