Movie review time

This won't be an in depth review, but more a series of impressions and ideas.

I know that recently I have watched some weird movies. Alien Code was crazy weird. Wild Target? Weird. Strays was insane and weird and there were loads of others. Last night I watched a movie was weird in a really bad way. Not offensive but clearly an attempt at a puff-PR peace touting the rich cultural histories of China and India and their cooperation when mangling modern cinema.

The movie was called "Kung Fu Yoga" and it was a Jackie Chan film in which he surrounded himself with a crack team of wannabees (no, that isn't a reference to any Japanese actors). I like Jackie Chan and this film had a few flashes of humor in the writing (and some of the fight scenes were inventive and acrobatically intense, classic Jackie Chan) but on the whole, this was a horrible, horrible movie. It spans genres (awkwardly), has too many characters and backstory to keep straight and I couldn't really understand anything that was going on. Also, lots of different languages spoken so the subtitles are sometimes there and sometimes not.

In terms of plot, imagine stealing the general storyline and many specific scenes and devices from the first 3 Raiders movies and mix it with National Treasure. Then stir until it is fully nonsensical, throw in some weird future tech and a dance number and hope for the best. There might have actually been a reference to Rush Hour in one of the lines of dialogue ("You OK? You speak English?").

I wish I could have been in the writers' room when someone came up with and tried to sell this plot twist: "So then, Jackie jumps in the car and starts driving, only to discover that there is a fully grown lion in the car with him! So there is this high speed chase with a lion there!"

Was there automatic assent with sagacious nodding and "harumphs" from around the table or was there at least one guy who cautiously said "but, um, isn't that, well, stupid?"

Those were the nicest things I could say about it. I recommend that you watch it so that I'm not alone in my suffering and you can confirm that it really is as whacked out as I claim it is.