Hilchos Dunkin on Erev Pesach

 

One may eat as early as alos, but only crullers

One should time his eating so that he reaches the creme in the Boston Creme donut at netz because it is the ikar. The Bostoner held the icing was the ikar because, as he wrote, "nu? Here we just call it creme." 

One must order something was has not had in at least 6 months so that he can be yotzei saying "now I remember why I don't get this." 

If one does not have to refill his Dunkin app he has not fulfilled his obligation. 

The minimum shiur is one. The Talmud ask "one what" and opinions range from R.Yosi who holds "one munchkin" to R. Meir who says "one of everything." the S"A holds like R. Yehudah who says  "one food and one drink" though tosfos there brings down a long discussion of whether water counts as a drink. We are meikil. The Ramo says two foods would count but not two drinks. 

If one sees a table, Snag it. 

Small children should brought into the store and not rushed when placing their orders. This reminds us of the limited choices we had in the midbar as we left Mitzrayim. We are now free to choose, so take your time! 

In each 20 minute period, one person must do something that at least one other person reacts to by mumbling "something sometimes chiilul hashem..." 

It is praiseworthy to sing benching out loud at 7 AM

One must have intent to eat Dunkin and to be eating Chameitz. If one had only a banana or a cup of coffee he is not yotzei. There are differing opinions about fruit smoothies so it is advisable to get a piece of banana bread or an order of hash browns to be sure. 

A person must look at his watch at least three times. A parent or responsible adult must recite the ceremonial "remember, nothing goes home so finish it here or it goes in the garbage" before leaving. 

Sefardim have the custom to walk around the car three times brushing off any possible crumbs while saying "let's try to keep the car clean all year!" In ancient times servants would keep water ready in the parking lot so each person could rinse and spit out any residue. This practice had fallen out of favor.

In temple days there was an appointed messenger who told everyone the length of the line at regular intervals via social media. This is an important tradition of our forefathers in our hands and we should guard it zealously.

Don't just ask someone for a bite of a donut or one Munchkin because you don't want to order your own. No one like that guy.

A woman can buy for a man and a man for a woman even though one might think her obligation is less as this a positive time bound commandment. But she, too, will miss breakfast wraps.

Outside of Israel one must include in conversation  mention of Jerusalem and how "this whole second seder thing is so bogus and don't get me started on kitniyos. Next year I'm definitely eating them." 

People who are eating quickly so they can get to the airport to head to Florida can not cut the line.